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Tag: Goddess Ishtar

Writing and spending (a bit) less

Writing and spending (a bit) less

It always amazes me when people contact me on Twitter like David did the other day:

He was indeed right. I didn’t write as much as i used to do recently and, moreover, it has been nearly three months since i last updated the page where i keep track of the money i spend on my Financial Domination Fetish….which i did 5 minutes ago.

The result? I’m spending less than last year, even if still way more than 1,000$ per month. I still remember what i wrote in my first post here:

“A maximum of 500$ for the entire year”

Yeah right…talk about a complete failure. But…is it? Is it a complete failure or, maybe, just an understanding of something that is and will always be a part of me? This is most probably close to the truth even if, i have to say, that scares me especially considering that, lately, i have been thinking a bit more seriously about meeting Goddess Ishtar… and that scares me. Even the fact that i’m thinking seriously IF i could do it makes me shake… looks like… i’m going deeper and deeper into this fetish of mine.

I am just a coward

I am just a coward

I need to face the reality. I will never have the balls to meet a financial domination Mistress in real. Never.

Why do i say this? Because yesterday, Goddess Ishtar, a gorgeous, smart, powerful Goddess i visit quite often online (although i’ve never talked about Her on this blog) told me She is going to be in Florence this weekend. Yes, in TWO DAYS she will be more or less 5 km far from where i work. And she didn’t hide the fact that She would have been ready to meet me….

But i am too scared. Too scare of losing control. Too scared of spending a real fortune. Too scared to do things i might regret in future. Too scared to live my fantasy in real. Too scared.

She knows way too well how to make me weak, She made it very clear that She would bring me shoe shopping. She made it very clear that Her goal is to be even more in control of the situation with me.

And i am just a big coward. I will not meet Her. And i will keep imaging how it would have been….