She showed up online and sent me a quick message on messenger:
“Hi, i’m wearing my new shoes”
That was is. I decided to go in her videochat to have a quick look but… She decided i was going to stay longer, much longer…she ended up raping my wallet and brain…reminding me how powerful She can be when She decides She wants to get You. There is no escape, no escape at all.
After a really long videochat i went offline…and since then… all i can think of is…
So it happened. Only a few days ago i was writing about Miss Olivia’s new shoes, about how i found them irresistible… and then, the other night, She contacted me on messenger saying this:
I think you should know i wear the shoes..need some help about the nylons. Got 3 pairs, hard to pick the right one.
I just went in, like a puppet executing an order. And i saw her: gorgeous as ever.
A super short black dress, her long legs and then…those sandals. She started talking, and my brain started to get foggy…then she put on pantyhose…perfect tan pantyhose…and those sandals again.
Looking at her crossing and uncrossing those perfect legs, while listening to her voice was…just too much. Too much to handle for any kind of man… and for me even more…
After a while i was like a zombie…listening and not writing at all in chat… and the She did it. She asked me to open my Paypal. With her convincing voice…with her crossed legs…with her dangling shoe…
And i exploded. As i never did before with Her, and for the first time i felt…embarassed to tell her what happened and why i would have not paid in Paypal… i just left, like a coward…and sent an apology the day after, to which she still has to answer.
How do i feel? Can’t describe it… but i can clearly see my weakness for her. Useless to deny it, useless to say i can be strong. She showed me that if She wants to get me, She can do it anytime.
Since i saw a photo of Miss Olivia‘s new sandals, i can’t stop thinking about her. Well actually what made me think even more of Her is a comment she recently posted on this site, where She describes the way She would behave in a real time session with me:
“Let’s say I date him for a RT session… what makes you think I will whip him in public, when I plan in fact to tease the hell out of him and, at one moment, put my feet on nylons between his legs, make him cum in a public place while smiling like a devil… after a shoes shopping session?”
Now that….that is the exact descrption of a dream i’ve been having since i first talked to Her. And the amazing thing was that, once, She described me that situation without even me telling her about it…it’s like a special connection…i don’t know.
Then those sandals… i imagine her wearing them with tan nylons, among with a classy dress, perhaps a bit short (but not too much). How could any man resist? And if She would start removing one of them and dangle it a bit, while we are having a coffee in a public bar here in Florence…how could i not get instantly hard?
This is a dream i’ve been having since a long time… and of one thing i’m sure…as soon as She will tell me “i’m wearing those sandals“, i will go into her videochat.
By the way…seems like some of you don’t even know how to reach her…and moreover, fail in getting her attention. I can’t tell you how to do it, as many factors are involved, but i’m sure of two things you NEED to do:
– Wait for her to come online and join her in videochat (here).
– Show her that you are not a common wanker, but that you are a slave worth some attention…don’t be cheap.
I don’t think there is any need for me to tell you that you are “playing with fire” by visiting Her. If She decides you are worth her attention…She will drain you.
So far this has been my worst year ever. Tonight i’ve updated the status page (here) and… in 2012 i so far spent about 5 thousand dollars in financial domination… never happened before.
So this fetish is getting stronger, even if i keep track of my steps in this blog. What does this mean? Recently i started considering the fact that i might even be “evil” somehow…but most probably…the truth is that…financial domination is part of myself, and i’ll never be able to exist without it…
Looks like tonight i managed to resist Miss Olivia request to pay…but now i wander…was it me that resisted, or did She just let me, perhaps because She couldn’t be bothered to try harder? I don’t know…all i know is that She was dressed to kill (as you can see) and that i was really in some sort of hypnosis but… i managed to say “no”.
Am i really coming out of this? I doubt it… i think She just didn’t want to waste lots of time…or maybe She just wants to see how long it will take me to try to see Her again…and probably when i’ll do…she’ll strike. I don’t know…i keep having doubts, even when things goes right like tonight…i’m confused.
It doesn’t stop…that’s a fact. I am spending more than last year and surely i am not slowing down… perhaps…this is just what i want…and i should really stop fighting this… what’s the point in fighting who i am?
Actually… recently i find myself thinking more and more about… real life sessions… about a Mistress (well, i can say Her name… Miss Olivia) tempting me in a public place, using my fetishes to make me weak…and then.. using me to go shopping… maybe shop about shoes… and modeling them in front of me… yes.. i am thinking about this more and more… and i find it really exciting.
But i do know one thing: that’s something i can’t afford. A real life session is going to cost WAY more than a videochat…and i can’t, can’t, can’t really afford that…at the moment…
Last night i’ve experienced for the first time how a voice can really be hypnotic. Went to see Miss Olivia…and this time she probably decided to show me how she is ALWAYS in charge and in control of the situation, how she could turn myself upside down in a matter of seconds.
She started talking to me with a tonce of voice she never used before…and i swear i really felt like i was hypnotised… listening to her voice while looking at her dangling a shoe from her perfect legs in suntan pantyhose was….something i never experienced before…
If needed, i have another proof of how much she is the one that can decide what i do or what i don’t do in her presence…
Ok i admit. Till now i didn’t have one Mistress only, but more like a few favourite Mistresses (the three here on the right). But if i was in the “mood” and noone of them was around, i used to simply browse and look for some other potential Mistress, just to fill my need to be a bit dominated.
Tonight i am in the mood. But none of them is online and, most important, Miss Olivia is not online.
Yes i admit, i can’t even imagine going to someone else. I know it wouldn’t be the same, i know i wouldn’t enjoy it as much, i know another Mistress could never be compared to her.
So i’m here, thinking about her…and she’s not online.
It probably all started when i met Miss Olivia. Among other things, she really can enter your brain and well… explore it ar her will. And that’s what she did and she keeps doing. But doing so…she’s making me think a lot, really a lot.
Am i really a moneyslave? Or am i just attracted by something else? And if that’s the case…what’s this “something else”? Seduction power? Beauty? Or just a pair of feet in stockings or pantyhose?
How far would i go in a real life session, in presence of a Goddess? Would i be excited, scared or…pissed off? Would i be able to fully let myself go or…my real life situation and position would make me ignore my weaknesses?
And most of all… where is this blog going? Why did i really start it? Is it still useful to my cause? Or is my cause actually changing? And if so… how is it changing?
Shit…i’m really a mess tonight…let’s update the current status… that makes sense…i guess.