YourMoneySlave

Over the past 16 years, my journey in financial domination has taught me countless lessons—not just about findom itself, but about relationships, balance, and what it means to live authentically. One question I’ve often seen asked, and one I’ve grappled with myself, is this: Can you enjoy findom while being in a committed relationship?

Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about relationships where findom is openly discussed, accepted, or even part of the dynamic. Those are rare in my experience and not something I would personally pursue. I’m talking about someone like me—a sub deeply drawn to findom who also happens to be in a long-term romantic relationship or marriage, where findom is entirely off the radar for their partner.

Is it wrong? Is it cheating? Should you choose between findom and your partner? And if you want to keep both, how can you do so without causing harm to your loved ones? These are heavy questions, and while I don’t claim to have all the answers, I hope sharing my experiences and thoughts can help others navigate this delicate balance.

The Inspiration for This Post

Before diving in, I want to acknowledge something: part of what inspired me to write this post was the discussions I’ve seen in the paypigsupportgroup subreddit. This space has been a source of reflection and new perspectives for me, and I thought it was time to share my story in the hopes it might help others.

Is Findom Cheating?

Let’s address the first—and often most debated—question: is findom cheating?

If we stick to the textbook definition of “cheating” as acting dishonestly or unfairly for personal gain, then yes, findom qualifies. Engaging in findom often provides a kind of sexual or psychological gratification, and doing so without your partner’s knowledge could be considered a betrayal of trust.

But—and this is a big but—not all forms of “cheating” are equal. There’s emotional cheating, physical infidelity, and then there are fetishes like findom that occupy a different space altogether. For me, it’s not just about the dictionary definition; it’s about the impact my actions have on my partner and family.

Addiction or Part of My Sexuality?

This is a question I’ve wrestled with for years. I’ve often found myself torn between the guilt of engaging in findom and the undeniable need I feel to include it in my life.

I’ve tried quitting findom multiple times, sometimes for months at a stretch. But every time I stopped, I noticed the same pattern: I wasn’t happy. I became irritable, disconnected, and less present for my loved ones. It wasn’t just about missing findom—it felt like I was denying a part of myself.

Some might say this is evidence of addiction, and I won’t dismiss that entirely. But I’ve come to see findom as an integral part of my sexuality. It’s not something I can simply “turn off.” Instead, I’ve learned that I need to balance it with the other aspects of my life—work, family, and love—to feel whole.

Love Comes First—Always

No matter how much I enjoy findom, my partner and family will always be my top priority. Their happiness and well-being come first, and I ensure they never feel neglected or second to anything in my life.

This means being present, attentive, and fully committed to their needs. It also means maintaining trust—a trust that has been built over years of consistent love and care. If my family trusts me completely, they’re less likely to question my actions, which makes balancing findom and family life a bit easier.

Money and Trust: The Foundation of Balance

Findom isn’t cheap, and keeping it separate from your family finances requires discipline and effort. To make this work, I’ve taken on three jobs, working 11+ hours a day to ensure I can indulge in findom without taking anything away from my family.

Weekends are strictly for family time, and whatever money and time remain after fulfilling all other obligations are what I dedicate to findom. This approach ensures that findom never interferes with my responsibilities.

But money isn’t the only requirement. Trust is just as crucial. Your loved ones need to feel secure in your relationship and know they can rely on you completely. Building and maintaining this trust takes effort, but it’s essential for keeping findom in your life without causing harm.

The Lisbon Experience: A Hard Lesson

Even with years of experience, mistakes can and do happen. One of the most challenging moments in my journey was the infamous Lisbon experience, where I ended up spending €20,000 during a real-life session with Goddess Ishtar.

The session itself was unforgettable, but the aftermath was a harsh wake-up call. Scrambling to cover my tracks and ensure my partner wouldn’t discover what had happened was both stressful and complicated. The trust I’ve built with my loved ones over the years made it slightly easier to navigate the situation, but it was still a chaotic mess to manage.

I share this because it underscores the risks inherent in findom. It’s not without consequences, and experiences like this serve as powerful reminders of the need for careful planning, self-awareness, and unwavering financial discipline to avoid jeopardizing the trust you’ve worked so hard to build.

So, Can It Work?

For me, the answer is yes—but only with the right balance and priorities. Over the last 16 years, I’ve found a way to incorporate findom into my life while ensuring my loved ones never suffer for it.

That said, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing. There have been ups and downs, moments of clarity, and times when I felt like I was failing. But through it all, I’ve learned how to navigate this complex dynamic in a way that works for me.

Would my partner be hurt if they found out? Of course. But the goal here isn’t to justify deception—it’s to share how I’ve managed to reconcile this part of myself while prioritizing the people I love.

What About You?

This is my story, but I’m curious to hear yours. Have you found a way to balance findom and a committed relationship? Do you think it’s possible, or is it a line that shouldn’t be crossed? Let’s discuss.