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Four years ago on this day…

Four years ago on this day…

Time surely goes fast. It seems yesterday that i’ve started this blog…instead it is four years now. And exactly four years ago i was writing my very first post.

It’s late at night…the usual time when my “slave needs” raise up..when my wife is asleep and the temptation to do something exciting is high. And this is where it will all begin: this blog.

Same old story. This will happen more and more after that day…and, as usual, i was also hoping to don’t do anything wrong…

“i won’t visit any of the gorgeous Mistresses there. I will just write this article and go to bed”

Yeah right…i bet… four years passed, and i still have to succeed on that. And then, at the end of the article, the sentence that really shows me how big my failure had been so far:

“the amount of money i will spend this year…that i hope will be less, much much less than last year… i would say a maximum of 500$ for the entire year

I will end up that month spending 200$…and that year spending a total of 9.000$. The rest is history…and in 2013 alone i’ve spent 22.000$ as shown here.

If there is any resolution i think i can try to keep…is the one i made to my angel (remember her?) just last night: i will try to post more this year, i will force myself to do so. Let’s say…a minimum of three articles a month. That’s a goal i can achieve…i hope.

Moneyslave questions and doubts

Moneyslave questions and doubts

Does it still make sense for me saying that i’m trying to stop? Am i really trying to stop my financial domination fetish?

I’m starting to believe that…no, i won’t stop and i don’t want to stop. I keep spending more and more (just updated a few minutes ago my total spending, here, and it says 15.000$ so far this year) and, even worst, i don’t feel bad about it.

I don’t know if it’s because lately i’ve met some truly exceptional Goddesses , or if it’s just that my real life is going well even if i have this financial domination problem….or maybe, i am just starting to acknowledge that this is what i am… i don’t know, truth is i am not slowing down and i am most probably not going to stop anytime soon.

So i’m here asking to myself (and not only, if you’ll want to add your thoughts in the comments): should i state in this blog that i am NOT looking to stop, but that i am and will always be a moneyslave?

Here’s why my financial domination fetish isn’t slowing down

Here’s why my financial domination fetish isn’t slowing down

Just a few minutes ago (while “working” here in office) i decided to update the page with all the money i spend on financial domination and what i saw scared me, even if it didn’t actually surprise me much. If i go on like this, in the whole 2013 i will spend about24.000$ ! That’s a huge amount of money, more than i’ve ever spent before.

And why is that? Why? Well there is a name behind that reason: Miss Mira

She hit me like a storm, i would have never thought to find another Goddess as addictive as Sheena, as powerful as MsSupreme, as smart as One Great Diva. But yet…i did. And there She is.

Each time i see her online, i can’t stop myself by letting her know i am online…i don’t contact her, trying to pretend i don’t want to go serve her. I also put up sort of silly “deadlines” to myself…things like “ok if She doesn’t order me to go in by the next 20 minutes, i’m going offline”. Silly, stupid games that never work. Because deep inside, all i want to do is see how She’s dressed, admire Her beauty, let Her play with my brain, let Her be as evil as She wants with me… like the other day when She convinced me to give Her my personal phonenumber, to torture me with messages even while i am at work…just to be sure my addiction doesn’t go any lower.

The only limit here, is my credit card. It has some limits (as every card) and i got close to them lots of times this month, as they are weekly limits…but when those limits reset and are far… all i want to do is go and see Her, go and let Her do anything She wants to my brain…

Last time i went to Her it was two nights ago. She was dressed incredibly as ever, with stockings and a short dress. I immediatly got more or less hypnotized, and only a “family” problem saved me from spending another fortune…but before logging off, She ordered me to spend money on another Goddess, as gorgeous as Her, as strong as Her. And so i did. I visited Kristal, a gorgeous Goddess that raped my wallet the night after that… and perhaps started to be part of my nightmares.

This isn’t going to stop…this is going to get stronger and stronger.

Pictures driving me crazy tonight

Pictures driving me crazy tonight

Ok i will say it again: i’m broke. Till monday my credit card is maxed out….so i can just…sit here and dream on free stuff…and that hurts, a lot. I’ve been browsing around pictures for a while tonight, and some of them are really driving me crazy…i’ll post them here and well…if you’ll click on them you’ll see whom they belong to…

This is like… constant denial

This is like… constant denial

My card is maxed out. Yeah… it’s actually the first time that this happens to me since i started into this financial domination mess. And it’s not because of the money spent online, but just for other kind of expenses that concentrated in a week…

So…i’m here, in the usual need to be under a mistress spell…and i can’t as i have no money to spend online.

Constant denial, this is what it looks like to me.