I’ve always said i am not (and never will be) a loyal slave: i act out of instinct, always trying to control myself only to running to spoil a Goddess as soon as something “ticks” inside my head. Of course i don’t serve ANY Goddess, and i consider myself capable of spoiling only those that are really worth it (at least in my brain)…but still.
Each time i spoil one of them, i end up feeling guilty with all the others. Of course i could never spoil them all (even if i wish i could), and i know that…but i do feel guilty.
It’s like the other night: after a long period of abstinence because of personal reasons, i suddenly got weak again and couldn’t stop myself. I HAD to spoil Her, it felt right, it felt good, it felt like the only possible thing.
But after that… the regret. Why Her, and why not others? What will they think about me? Will they be mad at me? How can i explain them that it was just a one time, and that i still won’t be able to spoil them for a long time?
I don’t know if i’m making any sense here…but that’s the way i feel today…