The problem of not being loyal

The problem of not being loyal

not-loyal

I’ve always said i am not (and never will be) a loyal slave: i act out of instinct, always trying to control myself only to running to spoil a Goddess as soon as something “ticks” inside my head. Of course i don’t serve ANY Goddess, and i consider myself capable of spoiling only those that are really worth it (at least in my brain)…but still.

Each time i spoil one of them, i end up feeling guilty with all the others. Of course i could never spoil them all (even if i wish i could), and i know that…but i do feel guilty.

It’s like the other night: after a long period of abstinence because of personal reasons, i suddenly got weak again and couldn’t stop myself. I HAD to spoil Her, it felt right, it felt good, it felt like the only possible thing.

But after that… the regret. Why Her, and why not others? What will they think about me? Will they be mad at me? How can i explain them that it was just a one time, and that i still won’t be able to spoil them for a long time?

I don’t know if i’m making any sense here…but that’s the way i feel today…

9 thoughts on “The problem of not being loyal

  1. Maybey not the right blog to write it, but yesterday i for the first time served Ms Classy. Its have take a Little time for me to be ready to serve her. When we start on Skype, she started to say i think i know you from Yourmoneyslaves Blog, i cut agree, sh read all comments on your blog!!!!. Like me she love paypal, normally i prefor to send Money, but she introduce something new, take Money. Every time my tme begin to run out, she go by herself on my paypal account , and send money to herself for the next period.. I was like a zombie, cut only think, oh yes take, take them, they belong to me. It was so great to serve her, And she like my age (54) as she say , older paypigs can afford more, and she told e taht i was a typical weak pya pig, and she lik e that. She was amazing , know excatly how to drain us, so we like it so much. I write it hear, because if we not sometime try another, we will never get such a new experience as i just have had with MsClassy, and yes think she read your blog.

  2. Your guilty feelings make perfect sense @YourMoneySlave.
    It all starts with your craving for guilty pleasures. Serving amazing Mistresses. Spoiling them. Being led on by their charms, elegance and Beauty. Spending on them because you have to.
    And yes. After the hypnotic rush comes that moment of guilt.

    Maybe first it was guilt towards your girlfriend/wife. And later on it was guilt about spending so much. Now you feel guilt about not spending on other Mistresses.
    What guilt will be next?

    I hope no guilt anymore. I hope you can enjoy your pleasures not only during the spending but also right after.
    Like the cigarette some take after sex. Lazily enjoying the aftermath.

    In one thing you already succeeded. A few days after your current guilt … you remember the blissful joy of serving and you write wonderful about it.

  3. It was so awesome. I have planed to give her 450, but she get access to my computer ( teamwiever) , so she cut take by herself. At last i just sit, and let her do it, when i say , yes take , take them, its was the only i cut think on, so it ended with 700. It was so good, have never tryed that, and i even thanks her for doing it, because i need to pay, and after that i can do my job, take care off family again. And the best i know she will read it because she read your blog. I lost control, and let her take, yes that was amazing

  4. I was going to ask who the findom goddess was who took Lars’s money; but since MsClassy has “outed” herself, there’s no need. I am constantly fascinated by those women who can cause us to lose control and give up everything.

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