I’ve always said i am not (and never will be) a loyal slave: i act out of instinct, always trying to control myself only to running to spoil a Goddess as soon as something “ticks” inside my head. Of course i don’t serve ANY Goddess, and i consider myself capable of spoiling only those that are really worth it (at least in my brain)…but still.
Each time i spoil one of them, i end up feeling guilty with all the others. Of course i could never spoil them all (even if i wish i could), and i know that…but i do feel guilty.
It’s like the other night: after a long period of abstinence because of personal reasons, i suddenly got weak again and couldn’t stop myself. I HAD to spoil Her, it felt right, it felt good, it felt like the only possible thing.
But after that… the regret. Why Her, and why not others? What will they think about me? Will they be mad at me? How can i explain them that it was just a one time, and that i still won’t be able to spoil them for a long time?
I don’t know if i’m making any sense here…but that’s the way i feel today…
Ok, let’s face it: i will never be a loyal slave to just one Mistress. Does this make me a bad slave? sure it does. Do i care? Sure i don’t.
A great girl i’ve “virtually met” recently, defined this in a very easy way: men are always looking for new targets. And that’s so true, surely in my case it is. Of course i will always fall for certain Goddesses (One Great Diva, of course will ALWAYS have me at her mercy with a snap of Her fingers), but i’m constantly looking for new experiences, new goddesses, new girls to spend time with. Then i find one that “hits me” (as this one did recently) and i visit her often for a while. But what happens when she’s not online and i’m horny? I end up browsing…and internet is so full of gorgeous women to serve, to fall for…
How can a slave be loyal?
How can a MAN be loyal?
I don’t know… but i can’t. On the other end… recently i’ve been totally “hit” by a gorgeous girl…smart…funny… and great teaser. It all started with a blackmail game…and although i was trying to be careful, she more or less found out everything about me in about 30 minutes in chat…then after that… the teasing went on…and is now going on via Whatsapp as well… more on her later…i will ask Her if i can write Her name here…