Am i really a slave…or just a hopeless wanker?
Some would argue that the difference between a wanker and a slave is not that big: I mean, in the end, it’s all about getting pleasure here…isn’t it? But a few days ago I faced a situation that made me start thinking seriously about this difference and which of those two I belong to.
I just had finished a session with a Goddess (a really great session, to be honest) and, out of the blue, another Goddess sent me a message on Skype.
“this would be the perfect time for you to worship my feet in nylon”
I didn’t worship Her feet since a long time actually because I could never see her online… so yeah, this would have been a chance to don’t miss…. But there was a big problem. I had just exploded a few minutes earlier, I wasn’t excited at all (physically at least, if you know what I mean)…and I felt like it would have been a total waste to have a session at that moment.
What’s the point in having a session, if you are not excited? If she can’t keep you on the edge? If you can’t…well… be hard for Her? To me, it doesn’t make sense, or at least it takes away a huge part of the joy in the session itself… but… does this make me a wanker or a slave?
What would have a real slave answered? Would have he started a session just for the pleasure of making his Goddess happy? Does this make me a bad slave?
What do you think?
8 thoughts on “Am i really a slave…or just a hopeless wanker?”
Maybe you just need few minutes…
Just think about: how much can hurt you a session that starts just after cum? It will became for sure a long session and a lot of money!
What about let the mistress know your situation, and ask her to help you to warm up?
Communication always first!
Hey Massi. This was a comment, i need some time to answar. For me you are a slave, and even a real good one. You work hard, even a extra job, so you can serve them better, and give them a better life. You eventell other about it, and i know its help more then me.Personaly your blog have helped me a lot, to find out i not are the only who have it like this, and ofc without you i have never get in contact with Godddes Ishtar.
But ofc also a slave have some needs, like sleep, food, warm, and yes also to cum sometimes. So is it, but for me the most importen is you suffer for them and serve them, Ofc you cant serve all time, so nowi dont know who the last is, but if she is a real Findom, she will have accepted that you not can now, and hope everything is good.
OGD is one off them, she wont me to serve her last month, but i could not, because Ishtar control my money, so i must tell her why. Her reaction show all, she write after i have told it to her: Hahaha why would I get angry on you? Im glad you embraced your faith. You were born to serve.
That feel good.
If you not have served and paid them se well, and just have sitting and jerk off, looking at the pics on CC and LJ, i will have called you are wanker.
Thats the difference i my eyes. A wanker just look with doing anything, a real slave work and suffer for them
A bit of both my captain ! (such strong views from me !)
I read in another blog written by a dom (yes a male one :p ) that “an happy sub is a good sub”, well we could surely say the same with the word slave (cuz im still unsure about the real difference between them, except maybe a trick of word or to feel different).
You are doing those activities for your pleasure, you even say it. so of course if for any external reason you don’t feel serving, if you force yourself doing it, you will finally ruin even more your mood, and maybe even the mood of your mistress/goddess/whatever. So it will be a bad moment for each of you, and even her, she may not understand where does it come from (because even if mistresses knows to work their brain far more than the average, they are not omniscient).
This moody situation can happen for a lot of reason, a bad news you just learnt u can’t ignore, you are sick, or you just cummed !
I prefered to serve when i was eager to do it at 100% rather than doing it with some backward thoughs (but it is my point of view)
And of course you are a little wanker 😉 if tomorrow (and i don’t hope it for you) you feel no more pleasure at all in feet, or nylon, or findom will you continue it ? Yes, maybe once, twice or 10 times ! but you will finally come to an end. Everyone is seeking for his own pleasure even a slave, even a good slave, even a perfect slave !
But yes you could have say it to this other mistress, to have her opinion. And with your reputation it is barely thinkable that she will force you to have a session to get your money knowing she could get it 2 days later :p
Anyway thanks for your great blog that answered to me many of my internal askings and sorry for my english im not native !
Your english sounds perfect to me Erik (maybe because i’m italian eheheh). Thank you for the great and wise comment, i agree on all you said, actually. We are a bit of both! And hey…thanks for the super nice words about my blog 🙂
Question: Are you a slave or just a hopeless wanker? Answer: You are just a hopeless wanker.
How do I know? The truth is revealed about half way through your post when you say “…and I felt like it would have been a total waste to have a session at that moment.”
You “felt” it would have been a “waste”? A true slave understands that it is not his right to “feel” what is the right action or to decide on his own what is a “waste.” If you are making your pleasure, your excitement, your joy, your resources the basis for a decision, then you are DEFINITELY not a slave, but a pathetic wanker who is faking devotion.
In the end, of course, that pleasure is empty and hollow. The very fact that you asked the question on a public forum shows that at some level you know that. You know that the only way a man like you can achieve real pleasure is by giving over control to a woman, sacrificing and submitting to her completely.
And that means, if a Goddess to whom you pledge devotion is gracious enough to grant you audience, then you submit and let that Goddess decide how you should feel and what to do with whatever physical reaction you can muster.
Don’t misunderstand. As A Domme, I enjoy using both real slaves and hopeless wankers, but, of course, my devoted slaves get most of my attention.
Goddess Ishtar
I agree with Mistress. Slaves serve when Mistress demands they do, not when they want to or are in the mood. I regret to say that I am a hopeless wanker at best, and a worthless and cowardly wanker most of the time. I barely have the nerve to speak to women, never mind a strong willed, hot Mistress…
Such an interesting question. Also I guess because I ask myself the same from time to time. And in the answers you already got there’s a lot of truth.
I mean .. who would disagree with Goddess Ishtar (so wonderful when she replies!) who knows both of us so well and has so much experience with slaves and wankers .. that – at least at that moment you were not a slave. You were thinking too much about yourself and your own pleasure.
But does that make you a wanker?
I agree with Lars. It does not. You proved time and again that you are a devoted slave.
Do I therefore disagree with Goddess Ishtar?
She has a strong argument … When a Goddess calls on you, you have to reply.
That reply though doesn’t have to be a “slaves” reply in the sense that you have to serve her at that moment.
It can be a gentleman’s reply. A polight chat. An exchange of how you both are.
And I know you are a gentleman in heart and soul.
I think what matters most is that you just had a marvelous session before the other Goddess paged you.
Everyone with a little sexual experience knows how a person can feel right after an intense fetish session. Yes there is the high still in your mind. But there is also the low. We have all suffered it. And there are times when it hits you harder.
Maybe this was one of these times. And for sure the timing was off.
My point: maybe it is not fair to put yourself on wanker-slave scale regarding that specific day.
Ofcourse you should reflect on yourself from time to time. That’s healthy in your vanilla life and in your fetish adventures.
And personally I like to keep in mind that sometimes it’s so very cool to be an obsessed wanker and at other times a humble mindless slave.
Both wanker and slave – and I can imagine some other fetish states of mind as well .. which also makes it more interesting for the Goddessess – have an important similarity … Being so very dependent on super amazing totally beautiful incredibly seductive women. Paying them for the wonder of existing.
It’s a tricky situation if you are serving different Goddesses.
Goddess Ishtar is correct – if you have devoted yourself to any Goddess you should be at Her back and call, although one can hope for understanding and clemency. But i imagine taking a slave “cold”, as it were can be both vicious and pleasing.
At the very least She is deserving of a polite and courteous description of your situation. After that, perhaps a plea for mercy?