Why do i always find myself doing this “sitting duck” sort of game?

I know everytime she contacts me, i can’t resist her… so when i see she’s online on messenger, i log in and stay there…not contacting her and telling myself “i’ll go in 20 minutes”.

Inside myself i know the excitement i get to be “on the edge”…but i also know i NEED to avoid her, to protect myself against her…

But yet… i play like a sitting duck…all the time…