10 days away from cams and Goddesses

10 days away from cams and Goddesses

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It has been ten days…so far. Ten days since my last cam session online, Ten days since i’ve fall at a Goddess feet… ten….LONG days.

And i have to be honest… i can’t wait for this to end. I didn’t choose to stay away, i didn’t want this to happen (even if i should), it wasn’t an act of strength on my part, it wasn’t me winning against my instincts.

I just didn’t have a single cent left on my credit card.

Now i got my paycheck…now everything is in order again…and i just can’t wait to have the privacy required to go there, go to that site and… let my instincts do the rest.

I know it’s wrong, i know. But it’s kinda useless to try to resist. I FEEL the need to go there, i FEEL it…and yes…i’m gonna do anything i can to have the required privacy…

More than 22.000$ spent on Financial Domination

More than 22.000$ spent on Financial Domination

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And so this year comes to and end. And more or less nothing changed since last year: my financial domination fetish is as strong as ever.

A few minutes ago i’ve updated my expenses record and i saw two things: in december i’ve spent less than usual…and in total, in 2013, i’ve spent 22.025$ on financial domination… that’s a hell of a lot…and something i’m ashamed of but…something i just can’t avoid it seems. Maybe the fact i’ve spend less in december could make me think that i’m improving…but how long will it last? How long till one of those Goddesses will contact me on messenger saying one of the things that excites me most?

I’m wearing nylons, and i’m going to rape your wallet tonight

I don’t know. My journey continues…my fetish isn’t stopping…and my money keeps going away from my pocket.

And while i’m writing this, i just saw one of One Great Diva’s latest pictures…

Low on cash: the forced abstinence

Low on cash: the forced abstinence

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Now…this is one of the things i hate most: being low on cash (not only because of my findom addiction, but also because of other expenses) and therefore…being forced to stay away from all this world.

Yes i know, in a way i should be happy…for a week i won’t be able to spend on Financial Domination. Not a cent, nothing. I have 80$ left on my credit card…and believe me, i do need them till next pay period….

It’s exactly a forced abstinence.

What can i do about it? Nothing at all… i just need to stay away from my computer when i have privacy…when the temptation is higher… mostly because, no matter the temptation, money aren’t there…so there is no way i could see any of the gorgeous Goddess i serve.

One of those nights…

One of those nights…

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So my wife went to sleep. I’ve been working till a few minutes ago, and mind you is about 1.30 am… so I’m here, sitting in front of my computer, trying to relax.

And that’s when it happens: I’m alone, it’s night, I’m online. It’s like my fingers move by themselves..typing the address of the site I mostly visit my Goddesses from… but She’s not online. The one I have been thinking about since 2 days isn’t online… and I wish She was. Yes, I wish She would use her power on me tonight…but She’s not online.

And so…it’s one of those nights when I say…

I’ll wait 10 minutes, then go to bed if She doesn’t show up

And 10 minutes become 20….and then 30… and in the end…i will just feel useless and went to bed very late. It has happened before…it will happen tonight…unless…i just shut down my laptop and go to sleep.

Will I?

Is it REALLY blackmail that excites me?

Is it REALLY blackmail that excites me?

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Recently i’ve been fascinated by blackmail, the excitement of being in huge danger, of letting a gorgeous woman “steal” personal data from me in order to keep me into her hands…but… is this the real reason i’m getting excited by this?

What if…all i crave is cheating my wife with another woman? What if all this fetish of mine (moneyslavery or blackmailing) is just a reason to “feel” the excitement of actually cheat my wife for real?

I have never done that, i have never cheated her in real life…only online… and now… the idea of actually be, physically, with another woman…totally attracts me even more than before.

Maybe, these days, it’s not anymore about financial domination, it’s not aboutblackmailing…it’s just about…cheating my wife.

The 5 Major Turn Offs For Slaves

The 5 Major Turn Offs For Slaves

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A while ago i wrote a post about how a slave should approach a Goddess online and I still believe that’s very accurate and, at least, a good starting point for any “slave wannabe”. But..what about all those “Goddesses wannabes“? Would it help them know the things they need to avoid, in order to keep people with them? I don’t know…but I feel like putting down this list so…here are the 5 major turn-offs for slaves (at least for one like me)

1. Bad English

I am sorry, but if you just can’t type in proper English… don’t even bother to pretend You are a Goddess. You are not…or at least, if you are, try to be one with guys from your own country…because as for me, your bad English will just be a huge turn-off.

2. Brain smaller than mine

You can’t control a slave’s mind just because you are wearing some boots and stockings, or because you are wearing a fake cock. You need to have something inside that brain of yours. You need to show me that you are way more wise and intelligent than me. You need to show me that I can also admire you for your culture, not just for your beauty.

ostrich_diagram1

3. No listening

Lots of Goddesses (even successful ones) always say “I don’t care about what a slave wants, I am the Goddess”. I can understand this in part…but if the slave tells you, for example, that “pantyhose make me weak”…why would you ignore that? If he tells you “i am excited by blackmailing”, why would you ignore that? If you don’t listen to what I say and don’t even try to do things to put me in trouble…well…I won’t be in trouble: I’ll be looking for another Goddess as soon as possible.

im-not-listening

4. Cheap setup

We are in 2014: an HD webcam doesn’t cost a fortune, and putting up some nice furniture and lighting in a room shouldn’t be a big issue for someone that wants her slaves to pay 12$ a minute to see her. If your setup looks cheap, you look cheap to me… and I surely won’t feel weak for long in front of you.

retro-webcam

5. Broken nylons

Ok…this is just for the nylon fetishist that I am… But it can relate to the point above: if you break your nylons…put a new pair on. Are you so cheap that you can’t even afford a new pair of nylons? Really?

stockings

So that’s it… that’s what I felt like writing tonight… hope I didn’t offend anyone by writing it…but if I did…well…perhaps it’s because you are just a… “Goddess wannabe”

Spring can help my Financial Domination problem

Spring can help my Financial Domination problem

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It might sound weird…but these days I can see that spring is actually helping me in spending less online. Amazing isn’t it? And the reason is so stupid… that I’m actually even embarrassed to speak about it… Spring makes me weaker….physically weaker I mean..and that means fewer chances to stay up till late, fewer chances to stay in front of a computer all alone… fewer chances to spoil these amazing Goddesses.

Sounds silly, doesn’t it? But again…when you have a problem (or let’s say, a difficult to handle part of what you are) that goes on and on…every little help can make some difference… and surely this is making a difference in the money I’m spending.

But then again… I find myself even frustrated because I can’t spend enough time as I wish online…enough time to let their amazing beauty drive me completely crazy and helpless… enough time to let those feet in nylons, those high heel shoes, those gorgeous sexy smiles…just drive me completely crazy and make me like a zombie…

I look at these pictures…and stop thinking

I look at these pictures…and stop thinking

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Sometimes… all i want is to stop thinking…and let the power of these Goddesses reduce me more or less like a zombie, unable to do anything else but submit and surrender… that’s what being a slave is like: you have a normal life, you have brain too…but then… you look at one of these pictures and something in your brain just… snaps.

And you stop thinking.