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The Findom Cycle

The Findom Cycle

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I have been a moneyslave for more than 10 years now, and sometimes I like to sit back and take a look at my actions from an “external” point of view: it’s interesting to find common paths that happen over and over the years, some common sequence of events that characterize me as a moneyslave. 

There is one in particular that I can see repeating itself over and over, almost daily in some periods, it’s the one I like to call: The Findom Cycle.

It’s for sure nothing that anyone into financial domination for a while doesn’t know about yet, but perhaps it will be interesting to describe its phases to those that still didn’t notice it.

1 – The Caution

Every moneyslave starts by trying to be cautious: we always believe we can hold back, we can control ourselves. So we kinda look at our Goddess (or more than one) from a distance, taking brief looks at their pictures, briefly reading their messages on Twitter, but always ending up with a reason to don’t spend. With a reason why we should just look away and get on with our life. How long this work for changes from slave to slave and, more important, from period to period. There are certain periods of my life where I can be cautious for a few days only before going to the next phase, other times I can stay longer. It all depends on many different things: from the situation in my real life, till how satisfactory (and expensive) was my last session and yes, also the kind of “signals” I get from Goddesses (for a clear example, read my article about how “Variety triggers me“.

As time goes by though, we all start to feel the urge of a session, of a tribute. That little voice in our head saying “come on, why not? Isn’t it what you really want to be happy?”. Perhaps we try to fight this little voice for a while…but soon enough the next phase happens. 

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2 – The Enjoyment

That’s it. Enough being cautious. Enough holding back. We embrace our nature, we need to do what we desire the most. Looking at our Goddess (or at Goddesses) has a different meaning now, we NEED a session, we NEED a small thing that “ticks” our desire, that makes us do that final step, that makes us embrace what we are and makes us crawl at a Goddess to beg for a session. It can be a twit, a picture, something she says, a particular moment of our life…we are basically only looking for a pretext. For a reason to send a tribute or have a session. And when that happens, we fully enjoy our fetish. We are money slaves and, at that moment, we are totally happy with our nature. The session happens, the drain happens, our happiness starts from now and lasts till the session… or even a bit more actually. 

3 – The Day After

And then there is the day after. What happens after a drain session? How do we feel when we cool down? How do we feel thinking back at what we did? Well, it depends. We don’t all react the same way, and we don’t react each time the same way. But I can bet that most of the time, we regret what we did. We regret the big-spending, the big weakness, the uncontrollable desire to send money. It’s what we love, it’s what made us happy during the session but… then there are real-life consequences. Could I have spent that money in a better way? Could have I saved them for later? Why did I have to spend them all in such a short time? 

Anyway, the last phase usually doesn’t last long. Unless we are in one of those life moments for a money slave when we say “ok fuck it, I need to stop all this forever”, the regret doesn’t last more than a day or two. After that, usually, the first phase comes back… in the never-ending Findom Cycle.

Money is meant to be spent, don’t hold back

Money is meant to be spent, don’t hold back

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Money is meant to be spent. Don't hold back in Financial Domination

Everything about Financial Domination starts (and ends) with money. This is quite an obvious fact: we get excited when we pay the Domme, when she takes money from us or when she abuses our weaknesses to bring us in giving her more and more. The dilemma is always the same: how much should we spend?

Giving her everything

In a perfect financial domination relationship, the slave gives everything to his Goddess, leaving her all the control on what he can or cannot spend. If he can eat, if he can buy some clothes. Everything. But this is very rare, not many of us can commit to such a life. 

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Giving only what’s left

The opposite way is the safest one: you define a budget you are willing to spend and stick to it. With no exceptions. That way, you can perfectly live your financial domination relationship while still living a normal life. More often than not this starts as a good idea, and soon enough we fail to apply it. The urge to spend is too high, our self control too low. Moreover, this is also not exciting: the danger to spend too much is part of what we find exciting, let’s don’t deny it.

Always spend more than you planned

FeetGoddess perfect ass in pantyhose

It may look too risky perhaps, but this is probably the best way to live Financial Domination. Try to plan your expenses but…don’t hold back. If giving to your Goddess makes you feel good, by all means, go for it. There are people who spend thousands of euros on vacations, others spend it on sports cars, on clothes, shoes…so why can’t we spend a lot on what makes us feel better? Are there some risks in this? Sure there are, the same risks people take when they buy a new car which is far from a safe budget. But they still do. Because money is meant to be spent on things that make us feel good. Never hold back, go for it and you won’t have regrets.

And you? How do you live your financial domination? 

Choosing a Goddess to serve

Choosing a Goddess to serve

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I know many will say “slaves have no power, they are just there to serve Goddesses”, and I know many Goddesses (especially the “wannabe” ones) will believe that. To them, a slave exists only to serve ANY Goddess, no matter what she looks like, say or do.

Well let me open your eyes: this is NOT true. We, slaves, do have one power, and it’s one of the most important ones for you to become our Goddess. 

We choose which Goddesses to serve

There is simply no way a Goddess can be the right one for every slave: each one of us has different tastes, different fantasies, different things that make him “going”. And because I get dozen of messages from basically ANY kind of Goddess, I thought of writing a post about the process I usually go through before I become a slave of one particular Goddess.

How she looks like

This is the very first factor that drives my attention toward a Goddess. And it’s not just about her body, it’s also about her dressing style. I have a fetish for feet in nylons (especially pantyhose) so if, say, I look into her Twitter and see she never wears stockings and pantyhose or doesn’t like them, I just move away. Nylons are important to me and more important is that She wears them because She wants and likes to, not just because I like them. One “plus” for me is also if she seems to have many different outfits that she uses. Too often some girls are always showing the same clothes, making it look like they are sort of wearing a “uniform to go to work”. I prefer a woman who loves to put different stuff on, making me think she enjoys getting ready before starting her domination session.

Her attitude

After I’m intrigued by the way She looks, I start following her on social media or camsites, if she works on one with free cam shows. This way, I can get a better understanding of the kind of Goddess She is. Is she aggressive? Is She mean? Does she seem to be enjoying what she does? Does she seem bored? Is she funny? There isn’t a “list” of things I like or don’t like here. Each Goddess is different, and I might like one for a reason, another one for the very opposite of that. So let’s say that I more or less try to understand if her attitude “makes me going” or it’s so bad that simply makes me forget I like the way she looks.

My first approach

If I’m still interested in Her, of course, the next step is approaching Her. Let me be clear here: I try to NEVER waste her time, and ALWAYS have total respect for Her and Her valuable time. So my approach is never like talking hours with Her for free or making her waste tons of time on social media. A few comments here and there on pictures I like, some engagement on Her posts, some small talk in free chat. Nothing else. Just to let Her know I exist so that when I will go for a session I won’t be someone she never heard about. Usually, nothing goes wrong here, because I don’t expect much from Her. I know they are all super busy, and I know the proper way of making myself noticed is with a tribute. But some of them are better than others, and they end up engaging a bit with me. Even a short reply to my messages can be nice, makes me feel like she’s aware of what’s happening around her, she’s not just sitting there waiting for sessions. That’s a nice thing.

The first session

Now it’s time to have my first session with Her: I’m interested in Her, I like how she looks, how she dresses, how she engages and behaves…sure I want to be at her feet!

And yet… sometimes it happens that only during the first session I understand She’s not one for me. Of course, I don’t expect her to magically understand all of me in just one session or the very first session to be perfect.. but there are a few things here and there that can be a total turn off for me. I don’t even know how to describe them, because every session is different…but if they happen, that will be my first and last session with her. It happened more than a few times, unfortunately. 

Wrapping up

So this is the “process” I follow each time I spot a Goddess I didn’t know before. It may seem odd or too complicated but…believe me, every (serious) slave does the same. We all want to have the best experience ever, and there are thousands of potential Goddesses out there. The least we can do is choose wisely….don’t you think?

Sex is overrated.

Sex is overrated.

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Did the title catch your attention? I hope so, because I will try to explain better what I mean, and I do hope to have your full attention. Not sure if many slaves will agree on me about this, but I’m kinda curious about it.

What does excite me?

That’s where this all idea started. I started questioning myself what is that gets me going, what excites me, what…well…what makes me hard the most.

And you will probably say “Come on, it’s findom. We know that”. Wrong. It’s not JUST findom, it’s findom done in a certain way, it’s something more than findom or, to be precise, something BEFORE findom.

The teasing.

A woman, self-confident, perfectly aware of the effect She has on men, perfectly aware of what makes me weak, that slowly starts doing things that get me going. 

A shoe slowly coming off the foot, then dangling from the tip of her toe. Her legs flexing back and forth, to expose all their length and beauty. The noise of nylons rubbing together. That knowing smile on her face, while she looks right into my eyes. Her tongue slowly going all over her lips. Her sexy walk on those high heels, with her body perfectly balanced on them. The tone of her voice: calm, relaxed and yet tremendously sexy. 

All these things lead me to be so excited, so hypnotized by her, so eager to see her doing more of that stuff….that I end up losing control, and at that point sending more money only excites me even more. That’s the moment when Findom comes in place.

What about sex?

Everyone says how great sex is, how they couldn’t live without it. Apparently, no one can be happy without sex, no couple can survive if sex isn’t amazing and perfect. There is no way one can be fulfilled without sex…but is that really true? Do we really all think like this? 

To me, sex is like going to the gym. Lots of physical activity, lots of sweating, you feel tired afterward and…while you are at it, do you actually enjoy it? Sorry but I don’t. I don’t need my penis inside a vagina to feel pleasure, I don’t need to do all those exercises to be satisfied. Hell, sometimes I don’t even need to cum to be totally happy!

Is this selfish? Yes, it is. I know that a woman probably needs sex more than I do to be satisfied. And I do have sex with my wife…but that doesn’t mean I find it more exciting than being teased. Is this weird? Probably, but who cares? I’ve been called a weirdo for many other things!

Am I the only one?

I’ve been asking myself quite a lot and, frankly, this is also one of the reasons why I wrote this post. The fact that I would rather be teased than have sex, doesn’t feel totally right. I have complete respect for Women (obviously, being a slave) so their pleasure should always come first, but instead I’m being way too much selfish in feeling like this. 

But then again…is this something I can control? Can you teach someone to like chocolate if he does not? 

So yes, the main question here is… am I the only one who would rather be teased till he cums, instead of actually have sex? Can you help me understand this, guys?

Blackmail: 4 ways to escape from it

Blackmail: 4 ways to escape from it

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escape-from-blackmail

Blackmail is one of the most exciting and controversial fetishes in my opinion, surely one of the closer ones to illegal activity: believe it or not, it’s illegal to blackmail someone, even if it’s a consensual “game”. If the victim goes to a judge saying he got convinced in doing it, most probably the judge will rule in his favor but…

How many of us could (and would want to) sue one of these Goddesses? I mean…first of all it would be stupid because we were the one that wanted it in first place and, secondarily, how can you run after someone you know almost nothing about or lives in a different country?

But yet i get from time to time messages from more or less desperate slaves, saying this or that Goddess keeps blackmailing them even if they don’t want to go on, that they risk all their life savings and so on…

How do you stop Her from blackmailing you?

In a few words: it’s complicated and it works only if she is smart enough to understand when it’s the right time to take a step back.
Good news: all the best Goddesses are of course intelligent and smart enough.

So the first rule is: never play blackmail with a newbie, with a Goddess who’s around since not so long or that no one ever heard of. Most probably she is too inexperienced to even play that game in first place.

Ignoring the fact that she can or cannot understand, there are indeed a few ways you can approach the problem.

1 – The Joke

Next time she contacts you, start acting funny. Act as she is just a friend. Tell her jokes, act as if this is all a total joke for you and laugh about it. Keep doing that, and if she doesn’t get the message, end the conversation (smiling) saying you gotta go. Leave her with the doubt: “Does he really care? Will i get anything from this?”

2 – The Change

In a calm, relaxed way tell her you don’t want to play this game anymore. Be sure to use the word “game” more than once, and to offer her alternatives. Things like “i love the time i spend with you, and i want to be your slave forever. But i’d like to play a different game, as blackmail really doesn’t give me any excitement at all anymore.”. Even tell her blackmailing is boring you, and that you want to spend your time with her doing something better. Never stop acting calm, and if she insists in the nasty way, leave her with a firm “ok, whatever. I’ll go visit someone else” and go. After this, never return to Her unless she is the one getting in touch with you. In that case, keep playing this part.

3 – The Silence

Stop contacting her or answering her messages. Ignore her completely (and i mean completely). Lead her to believe you don’t care anymore, or you are totally busy doing something else. If she has other slaves, she will leave you alone and move on. But warning: this works ONLY if she is smart enough to know that she shouldn’t really do anything “seriously”. If she is stupid, or inexperienced, this could easily lead her in using the info she has of you to contact your relatives or similar to get a reaction from you.

4 – The Threat

This is the worst way to end it, because doing this you won’t be able to visit Her anymore, not even for other kind of fun. She will HATE you after this, so be careful if this is not how you want things to end with Her.
Tell her you will report all this to the site she works with. Remember, for those sites a customer is the holy grail, and blackmail is illegal. If you tell the site that she blackmailed you without your consent, she will face big problems with the site, her account could be closed, her money could be kept. If she doesn’t work on a cam site, tell her you rill report her to the site you used to send money to her with (Paypal, Payoneer or whatever). Either way, be sure to tell her this is illegal and you won’t stop till she faces serious issues. Act as you are more dangerous than her. And leave the conversation in a sudden way, with one last bad sentence like “Ok, you’ll see!” and disappear. After that, don’t contact her for a long time. She won’t contact you as well and you’ll be free.

So will i be surely free after this?

No. These are all the methods that came to my mind the first time i faced an issue like this: it happened to me a few times already, and each time i used the method of these that i thought was more appropriate for the situation and the Goddess involved. But that doesn’t mean that i can be 100% sure these methods will work in your case! it can even be that She won’t stop…so be careful. Always.