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Heartless Queen: When danger gets seriously HOT.

Heartless Queen: When danger gets seriously HOT.

As we all know, Goddesses are not all the same. They have a different style, attitude, personality and, obviously, a different way of getting into our brain, of enslaving us.

Heartless Queen, at least in my case, always enslaved me by…scaring me. Yes, I’m not afraid to admit it: She is the one I’ve always been most scared of. 

CLICK HERE TO LET HEARTLESS QUEENN DRAIN YOU

Her approach has always been very direct: as soon as She understood what drives me crazy, She started constantly using it to make me weak and drain me. 

I honestly never had very long sessions with Her…but only because I ended up literally running away pretty soon.  Each one of them has been very intense, with my heart beating as fast as ever and I often ended those sessions by running away (that is, literally switching my computer off before it was too late). 

She enjoys pushing her victim’s limits…and pushing them hard.

One thing that always catches me is, apart from her obvious beauty, the camera angle she keeps in her room: we always look at her from the floor, with her legs constantly moving back and forth, her feet often letting her pumps dangle from the top of her toes. And this, to me, is like the hottest sight EVER in cam.

So, as you can imagine, as soon as I get a chance to see Her…it’s kinda impossible for me to move away. And if, by any chance, I give her even the slight idea I might be in a “sitting duck situation”….she jumps on me like a lion on a pray, using my weaknesses to make me fall…and drain me. That’s how it always happened with Her…and that’s what always scared me the most. There is NO WAY you can be around her without her reminding you of your role: we are slaves and we MUST serve her.

When saying NO makes you feel guilty

When saying NO makes you feel guilty

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Each and every day I find new ways in which EveSchwarz is unique and special. And last night was no different.

Don’t get me wrong, i’ve served many beautiful Goddesses in all these years, and i still think the world of them… but …

EveSchwarz is making me do things i’ve never done before, she’s making me feel like i’ve never felt before, She’s making me see things in a way i’ve never seen them before.

CLICK HERE AND FALL DEEPER AND DEEPER FOR FEETGODDESSS

So, back to last night. I was just about to go to sleep, but decided first to switch my laptop on to check a few things and well, most probably deep inside to see if She was online, maybe to just tell Her hello, to just have a quick contact with Her. And yes, there She was. Online.

I sent her a quick message, nothing special really, something like “i’m not in a great mood tonight, so i just wanted to say Hello to You Goddess.”

But looks like she wanted to change my mood. She sent me a pic of her perfect feet in black nylons and sandals, just like that. She didn’t really add anything for a minute. Then..

“Feeling better now? Come to see me.”

Of course i forgot i wanted to go to bed, i forgot everything…i just went into Her room still thinking it would have been just for a quick sight of Her beauty.

I was wrong.

She was looking spectacular. Her new haircut makes the beauty of Her face shine even more, those black pantyhose with line on back, worn with sandals, totally made her legs and feet look even better. And i started watching.

We chatted for a short while, during the few times when she was in free chat between one private and another. Then… then She did what many Goddesses do of course..but it’s what i felt that was different than other times. She said.

“Spoil me.”

Nothing unique in this right? Wrong. Wrong because it felt different to me. As slaves, we always say “i can’t say no to you, Goddess” because, let’s face it, it’s part of the game. But more often than not, we can actually say “no” if we really want to…or even just run away with an excuse. I’ve done that so many times.

But with Her it’s different. Obeying her orders just feels right. And saying no to Her feels totally wrong. Inside my mind i was thinking “i should say no and go to bed”, but that made me feel… guilty! Yes, even just THINKING of saying no to Her made me feel guilty as hell.

This is something i’ve never experienced before… i’ve always managed to remain focused on myself, spending a lot when i actually felt like it (even if i kept “playing” the game of being forced by the teasing), running away when i wanted. And always with no particular regrets for how i behaved with the Goddess.

But this time… this time i ended up spending 200$ (not a lot, i know) just because it would have made me feel guilty and bad to leave Her, to say no, to don’t spoil Her as She demanded.

I’m falling deeper and deeper for EveSchwarz, and I guess it will only get worst… or should I say better?

It doesn’t happen when i’m tired!

It doesn’t happen when i’m tired!

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Obvious thing to say… if i’m tired i don’t go online…therefore i don’t spend. Wow…what a revelation…right? Well i know, it’s totally obvious…but it’s a fact.

I think i have been once or twice online in about 10 days now…and that’s because i’m working a lot, and i’m more and more tired at night.

I should be happy about this right? I should…right? Well…wrong. I’m not. I can’t appreciate this enough…it seems…something is missing… and i surely know what that is.

It’s the excitement i get while i’m totally putting myself in a Goddess hands, it’s the feeling i get…that fear… yes, all that.

Looks like i’m addicted to this feeling…i’m…addicted to be enchanted by a woman’s seduction…to be manipulated…to be under her control.

Thinking about… real life

Thinking about… real life

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tacchi01It doesn’t stop…that’s a fact. I am spending more than last year and surely i am not slowing down… perhaps…this is just what i want…and i should really stop fighting this… what’s the point in fighting who i am?

Actually… recently i find myself thinking more and more about… real life sessions… about a Mistress (well, i can say Her name… Miss Olivia) tempting me in a public place, using my fetishes to make me weak…and then.. using me to go shopping… maybe shop about shoes… and modeling them in front of me… yes.. i am thinking about this more and more… and i find it really exciting.

But i do know one thing: that’s something i can’t afford. A real life session is going to cost WAY more than a videochat…and i can’t, can’t, can’t really afford that…at the moment…

New Year, new questions

New Year, new questions

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It probably all started when i met Miss Olivia. Among other things, she really can enter your brain and well… explore it ar her will. And that’s what she did and she keeps doing. But doing so…she’s making me think a lot, really a lot.

Am i really a moneyslave? Or am i just attracted by something else? And if that’s the case…what’s this “something else”? Seduction power? Beauty? Or just a pair of feet in stockings or pantyhose?

How far would i go in a real life session, in presence of a Goddess? Would i be excited, scared or…pissed off? Would i be able to fully let myself go or…my real life situation and position would make me ignore my weaknesses?

And most of all… where is this blog going? Why did i really start it? Is it still useful to my cause? Or is my cause actually changing? And if so… how is it changing?

Shit…i’m really a mess tonight…let’s update the current status… that makes sense…i guess.