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It doesn’t happen when i’m tired!

It doesn’t happen when i’m tired!

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Obvious thing to say… if i’m tired i don’t go online…therefore i don’t spend. Wow…what a revelation…right? Well i know, it’s totally obvious…but it’s a fact.

I think i have been once or twice online in about 10 days now…and that’s because i’m working a lot, and i’m more and more tired at night.

I should be happy about this right? I should…right? Well…wrong. I’m not. I can’t appreciate this enough…it seems…something is missing… and i surely know what that is.

It’s the excitement i get while i’m totally putting myself in a Goddess hands, it’s the feeling i get…that fear… yes, all that.

Looks like i’m addicted to this feeling…i’m…addicted to be enchanted by a woman’s seduction…to be manipulated…to be under her control.

Four years ago on this day…

Four years ago on this day…

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Time surely goes fast. It seems yesterday that i’ve started this blog…instead it is four years now. And exactly four years ago i was writing my very first post.

“It’s late at night…the usual time when my “slave needs” raise up..when my wife is asleep and the temptation to do something exciting is high. And this is where it will all begin: this blog.“

Same old story. This will happen more and more after that day…and, as usual, i was also hoping to don’t do anything wrong…

“i won’t visit any of the gorgeous Mistresses there. I will just write this article and go to bed”

Yeah right…i bet… four years passed, and i still have to succeed on that. And then, at the end of the article, the sentence that really shows me how big my failure had been so far:

“the amount of money i will spend this year…that i hope will be less, much much less than last year… i would say a maximum of 500$ for the entire year “

I will end up that month spending 200$…and that year spending a total of 9.000$. The rest is history…and in 2013 alone i’ve spent 22.000$ as shown here.

If there is any resolution i think i can try to keep…is the one i made to my angel (remember her?) just last night: i will try to post more this year, i will force myself to do so. Let’s say…a minimum of three articles a month. That’s a goal i can achieve…i hope.

Writing and spending (a bit) less

Writing and spending (a bit) less

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It always amazes me when people contact me on Twitter like David did the other day:

He was indeed right. I didn’t write as much as i used to do recently and, moreover, it has been nearly three months since i last updated the page where i keep track of the money i spend on my Financial Domination Fetish….which i did 5 minutes ago.

The result? I’m spending less than last year, even if still way more than 1,000$ per month. I still remember what i wrote in my first post here:

“A maximum of 500$ for the entire year”

Yeah right…talk about a complete failure. But…is it? Is it a complete failure or, maybe, just an understanding of something that is and will always be a part of me? This is most probably close to the truth even if, i have to say, that scares me especially considering that, lately, i have been thinking a bit more seriously about meeting Goddess Ishtar… and that scares me. Even the fact that i’m thinking seriously IF i could do it makes me shake… looks like… i’m going deeper and deeper into this fetish of mine.

Here’s how much i’ve spent so far

Here’s how much i’ve spent so far

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It has been nearly 3 months since i’ve last updated the page where i keep track of the money i spend on financial domination (this page)…and i guess it was because i KNEW this was NOT going well at all.

I’m spending way more than any other moment of my life…surely way more than when i’ve started this blog… i guess i will just have to give up to my fetish…and acknowledge the fact that i will never stop my financial domination fetish.

Ignored, hiding, falling, soon to be drained

Ignored, hiding, falling, soon to be drained

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This is surely a peculiar (if not weird) period for me, that could be summarized by the title of this post: Ignored, hiding, falling and soon to be drained.

Ignored

One of the Goddesses i’m mostly weak for, is ignoring me recently. I don’t blame her, as more than once i’ve been “exploding” just while she was asking to send a paypal tribute. Most probably She’s giving attention to slaves that are more worth than me, but the more She ignores me, the more i desire to be drained by Her again.

Hiding

Yes, i’m hiding from my biggest nightmare: One Great Diva .
I know very well that She is the one capable to totally hypnotize me, completely make me weak and unable to do anything but what She orders me to do. That’s why i’m hiding from Her. After a few weeks She’s back online, and i keep looking at her pictures online but i’m making sure She doesn’t find me online…because i know that one word from Her is all i would need to fall again into her power.

Falling

This is peculiar. Recently i’ve been spending A LOT with a girl that’s not even a Mistress, even if She has her “dominant moments” (as she likes to call them). She’s gorgeous, she’s smart, funny, intelligent and very very open mindend. The woman i could easily fall for…she is maybe even more dangerous than the Goddesses, for my marriage. As i’ve always said, i could never leave my wife for a Goddess, i could never fall in love for a Mistress…but what about this girl? I’m lucky that, till now, she doesn’t want any kind of contact outside videochat…so in a way it’s all reduced to the videochat world…but still…i spent hours in private chat with her, and not at a cheap price…and many times she didn’t even tease me, just talked…and it felt really good.

Soon to be drained

This is going to happen VERY soon. MsSupreme told me She’s waiting for a new pair of shoes, and as soon as She gets them, She will drain me. This is the kind of thing i can’t resist from: a Goddess chasing me, ordering me to serve her, ordering me to go and see her because She knows there’s something She will use to make me weak…and MsSupreme totally knows how to make me weak…She does. And it will happen soon, maybe even tonight…or tomorrow.

So well…that’s it. I was just feeling like sharing what’s going on these days with this mess that is my life.