So my wife went to sleep. I’ve been working till a few minutes ago, and mind you is about 1.30 am… so I’m here, sitting in front of my computer, trying to relax.

And that’s when it happens: I’m alone, it’s night, I’m online. It’s like my fingers move by themselves..typing the address of the site I mostly visit my Goddesses from… but She’s not online. The one I have been thinking about since 2 days isn’t online… and I wish She was. Yes, I wish She would use her power on me tonight…but She’s not online.

And so…it’s one of those nights when I say…

I’ll wait 10 minutes, then go to bed if She doesn’t show up

And 10 minutes become 20….and then 30… and in the end…i will just feel useless and went to bed very late. It has happened before…it will happen tonight…unless…i just shut down my laptop and go to sleep.

Will I?

My first book is now available

Inside The Mind Of A PayPig

After 15+ years inside financial domination, I finally wrote a book about obsession, shame, desire and the questions I am still trying to answer.

Read the free sample