I had to make a video of her… just to show everyone how powerful she is… even if, i have to say, there is no way you can understand her power unless you go and see her live.
She’s mean, she’s smart, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy… and yes, she WILL rape your wallet…that’s what she did to me…and what she keeps doing… because i just can’t escape from her… i can’t… and maybe… i don’t.
I get this told me a lot recently. Usually from Goddesses. And i tend to agree to them. I mean, who would say “i want to stop” and then keep staying online, keep looking at photos, keep getting in touch with temptation?
Well maybe the reason is that i am not really a moneyslave.
I spent about 95% of the money last year on webcam: paying a per minute charge in order to be able to look at beautiful women, showing me their feet in stockings, pantyhose (even better), high heels and looking at me in a sexy way. That is the truth.
Yes, a couple of times i did spend outside of the webcam: some money via Wester Union (twice, for a total of 100 Euros), some gifts on Amazon (for a total of 200$). That’s it.
I don’t know why i’ve identified myself as a Moneyslave, i think all i can be defined is a webcam foot fetishists slave. I have to admit this, i LOVE looking at women on cam, i get so aroused by that and yes, sometimes my brain doesn’t work well while i’m on cam. But just then. When i switch off the cam, i stop acting like that.
The truth is: giving money doesn’t excite me. Being told what to do does.
In fact all my videochats with Her end in the same, exact, way. She teases me for a long time, more than an hour usually (at 3$ per minute)… then she asks me to open my Paypal…i resist…she teases me more…i open it… i tell her i’m not going to pay…she shows me her feet, orders me to pay the amount she wants and… i come and close the videochat and Paypal.
I get aroused by the fact that she’s so sure of herself, that she knows what makes me weak. I get excited by the fact that she pushes me there…but when i’m there…it’s over for me.
This is something i’ll keep thinking about… perhaps i’m understanding everyday more who i really am…
It’s getting difficult, everyday more difficult.
My initial idea was to make myself known into the moneyslavery community, so that whenever i would log a failure here, i would have felt even worst and, maybe, learn for the next time.
So i now find myself browsing Goddes twitter profiles, websites, blogs, youtube videos, facebook contacts.. to add them but…doing so… i also discover so many gorgeous Goddesses, so many women i could never ever resist to…and the worst thing is that i’m not feeling bad…i’m actually feeling like “let’s see what happens”…
This looks so bad…so bad…
