It has been nearly 3 months since i’ve last updated the page where i keep track of the money i spend on financial domination (this page)…and i guess it was because i KNEW this was NOT going well at all.
I’m spending way more than any other moment of my life…surely way more than when i’ve started this blog… i guess i will just have to give up to my fetish…and acknowledge the fact that i will never stop my financial domination fetish.
This is surely a peculiar (if not weird) period for me, that could be summarized by the title of this post: Ignored, hiding, falling and soon to be drained.
One of the Goddesses i’m mostly weak for, is ignoring me recently. I don’t blame her, as more than once i’ve been “exploding” just while she was asking to send a paypal tribute. Most probably She’s giving attention to slaves that are more worth than me, but the more She ignores me, the more i desire to be drained by Her again.
Yes, i’m hiding from my biggest nightmare: One Great Diva .
I know very well that She is the one capable to totally hypnotize me, completely make me weak and unable to do anything but what She orders me to do. That’s why i’m hiding from Her. After a few weeks She’s back online, and i keep looking at her pictures online but i’m making sure She doesn’t find me online…because i know that one word from Her is all i would need to fall again into her power.
This is peculiar. Recently i’ve been spending A LOT with a girl that’s not even a Mistress, even if She has her “dominant moments” (as she likes to call them). She’s gorgeous, she’s smart, funny, intelligent and very very open mindend. The woman i could easily fall for…she is maybe even more dangerous than the Goddesses, for my marriage. As i’ve always said, i could never leave my wife for a Goddess, i could never fall in love for a Mistress…but what about this girl? I’m lucky that, till now, she doesn’t want any kind of contact outside videochat…so in a way it’s all reduced to the videochat world…but still…i spent hours in private chat with her, and not at a cheap price…and many times she didn’t even tease me, just talked…and it felt really good.
This is going to happen VERY soon. MsClassy told me She’s waiting for a new pair of shoes, and as soon as She gets them, She will drain me. This is the kind of thing i can’t resist from: a Goddess chasing me, ordering me to serve her, ordering me to go and see her because She knows there’s something She will use to make me weak…and MsClassy totally knows how to make me weak…She does. And it will happen soon, maybe even tonight…or tomorrow.
So well…that’s it. I was just feeling like sharing what’s going on these days with this mess that is my life.
This is getting way out of control. Last month i’ve spent more than i’ve ever spent in a month on financial domination… more than 2.000$.
I thought i could fight, i thought i could resist…but it seems pointless…perhaps i should gave up alltogether and just embrace my real nature of Money Slave.
Or perhaps i should try real time domination, meeting up with one of my Goddesses…perhaps that would give me the definitive answer: am i a real moneyslave, or am i just a useless videochat wanker?
In any case….this is not looking good at all… i shouldn’t spend that much…i keep saying it…but yet…i keep spending more and more…
There we are… i knew this moment would have come sooner or later… i had a rough week, had been drained (literally) by OneGreatDiva and now… if i don’t take at least a week off from all this, i will have huge problems with my bank.
So it’s time to switch off my messenger, stop visiting certain sites, stop updating this blog, stop visiting my (new) facebook account.
I hope i’ll make it…if not…this could lead to serious problems…really serious.
How could i deny that? She raped my wallet once again. And this time her weapon was… a new webcam. It may seems nothing to you…but try to look at the video below and compare it with the previous videos i made. It does make a lot of difference. Because now She shines in all her beauty, in all her power.
And what could i think about the outfit she was wearing? A shiny shirt almost exploding, a short skirt, stockings, and new high heel shiny shoes…
No, there is NO WAY i will ever escape. I’m a cashcow, as she said. And she surely knows very well how to milk me.
And by the way…with this videochat i made what i didn’t want to make at the beginning of this blog: i spent more than what i’ve spent last year. Yes, as you can see in the Current Status page, till now i spent more than 2009…. in january i promised myself to spend just one thousand dollars…now i’m at ten thousand dollars.
I’m screwed…but i won’t stop…she is too much for me…i can’t stop visiting her…can’t.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew she was the only one i should rely on, the only one i should care of, the only one that could help me.
I didn’t sleep at all last night, thinking about her. So this morning… i phoned my wife.
I’ve asked her to go online while we were on the phone. Explained her how it all started, during last May. I told her how much i’ve spent last year, what i was trying to do this year and how bad things were going…. showed her this blog, my twitter, everything.
Then, when i’ve finished and asked her “so…i know i’ve hurted you, but i’m here asking for your help…please, try to forgive me”. She shouted at me, she cried, she told me i disappointed her totally, she told me how stupid i have been…i tried to tell her how much i do love her, how much i care about her, tried to show her i’ve always loved her all this time….she just kept screaming… understandably.
She wants me to go to a psychologist. She thinks i have some sort of problem… and i probably agree with her. I’ll do that. With her. She’s still away though and will be back in two weeks from now, but i will keep phoning her twice a day, or even more. I want her to feel how sorry i am, how i DO love her.
But this. This blog, this twitter, this facebook…this is all over. I won’t log in again. Just a few weeks ago we were planning to have a baby…and tha’t s where i want to go back. Back to us. Back to our life.
It’s over.
