One year has passed since i’ve started this blog. As the name suggests, i was and still am (i think) trying to run away from my financial slavery addiction: too much money spent, too much risk to spend even more. I had to stop.
But after a year of failure, as i ended up spending even more, i think i met the one Mistress that really made me think, for the first time, if this decision to run away is what i really want.
Could it be that i just want to…take a break? Let this bad financial moment in my life pass, and then start again as before? Why should i deny what i am? Why should i deny what really excites me?
I met Miss Olivia online a few days ago, one of those nights when my need to be dominated is higher than my desire to run away from that. Of course she immediatly shocked my for her bauty, but what really made me think a lot in the following days is how that videochat went.
We had a long, interesting, facinating, surprising conversation. It was like she could read my mind, my emotions, my thoughts as no one before. At one point she asked me “Are you sure you want to run away?”. I didn’t answer to that question, i didn’t have an answer. At least not a complete honest answer. And i still don’t.
Her intelligence is beyond anything you can imagine to meet, especially online in a videochat. You can feel how her mind is superior than yours, and one thing that you notice immediatly is that it’s not easy to be accepted as her slave.
She doesn’t take anyone. First she wants to understand the way you are, what you are really looking for, what are your desires. And after that…she is the one deciding if you are worth her attention or not. In my case… all we did was talk, even in a nice way…but at the end of that chat… i just couldn’t stop thinking about her. More than any other Mistress i met before. She is into my brain, and there is no way i can let her go now. And i believe this is because she KNOWS i could be really and deeply submitted only by words, only by a beautiful woman that would use words in a perfect way.
So i’m here today asking myself: how can i run away from Miss Oliva? Is that what i really want? Will i be able to stay away from her for long?
It has been a long year, mostly spent (literally) with the three Mistresses that brought me into all this mess (OneGreatDiva and MsClassy)…but now that a new year starts…it seems that another one, Miss Olivia, will put a stop on all my intentions to run away.
I am confused tonight…especially because i am writing these things and i don’t feel, inside my brain, the usual voice saying “this is wrong, you need to run away”. The only voice i hear into my brain is Miss Olivia’s, and she’s saying:
Are you sure you want to run away from me?