It’s happening again, and I guess you can tell from my lack of posts here on my blog: some personal life stuff is keeping me away from Findom.
Do I think this is good?
No, of course not. I don’t care if this means I spend (way) less money. I don’t care if this can feel like a way to slow down. I don’t care if it keeps me away from danger. It’s simply NOT what I want.
I’d love to have a session with one of the Goddesses I always dream about. I’d love to feel their power over my brain, to let them take all they want from my wallet.
But I can’t.
Too much stuff going on in my brain right now. Too many things to take care of. Findom will have to wait… even if that means my need for it will only grow more and more…making me suffer more and more.
Life sucks sometimes, especially when Findom isn’t a part of it.
Yes tonight i came back online and ended up visiting a Mistress on videochat. Now i’m confused. I don’t even know what i’m writing about… all i know is that in the last 40 minutes i went from being happy, to sad, to angry to..confused as i am.
Spent a lot? no. Felt Her power? Yes.
But anyway…is it so difficult to understand that i’m not exclusive? I’m a slave that lives on emotions, because they are the reason i spend… and emotions can come from different Mistresses… is it that difficult to understand? Why someone would be mad about it? And why this should cause me problems?
I don’t know. I am just confused…only thing i know for sure is that danger excites me, especially if it’s a beautiful and intelligent danger.
That’s all for tonight… probably no one will understand what i wrote…but in the end…a blog is personal….and even this one is personal. I write about what i feel, about whom i feel… and no one should even dream of telling me what to write or should try to influence my life because of what i write here.