She won… once again

She won… once again

Trying to resist her is starting to look pointless… once again i couldn’t take it anymore… i had to go back at her feet, i had to feel her power on me.

Almost a month ago i decided to block her on my messenger… but slowly, day after day, i felt the need to feel her power again…so i unblocked her… and she won again. She said “tonight i want you in my video”. Nothing else. I answered “no i won’t” but she didn’t even look at my answer, she knows her power…

And in fact, last night i waited 2 hours to see her coming online…and when she did i waited till she ordered me to go into her room… and that’s what i did.

This time she raped my wallet by 120$… but i know it’s not enough… because i will never win against her…she has me on her fingertips… because she knows how to drive me crazy in her videochat… as she did last night…

The sitting duck

The sitting duck

Why do i always find myself doing this “sitting duck” sort of game?

I know everytime she contacts me, i can’t resist her… so when i see she’s online on messenger, i log in and stay there…not contacting her and telling myself “i’ll go in 20 minutes”.

Inside myself i know the excitement i get to be “on the edge”…but i also know i NEED to avoid her, to protect myself against her…

But yet… i play like a sitting duck…all the time…

Women are meant to be worshipped

Women are meant to be worshipped

I’ve always thought this of course… but sometimes things get to your mind stronger than other times. And tonight is one of those times.

As everytime i have some privacy (meaning, my wife is asleep), i’m browsing through picture galleries of all these wonderful women online. Sometimes i see a shoe dangling for the top of a toe, other times just a pair of beautiful legs crossed while dressed in a formal way… but all these photos have one thing in common: women are Goddesses. They are here to be worshipped and served.
My fight against my moneyslavery doesn’t have anything to do with this. I’m just trying to save money and avoid getting completely raped by one of those Goddesses. But even if i’m trying to protect myself, that doesn’t change the fact that women are Goddesses.

Every man should worship a Goddess (or more than one), because that’s what we were born for.

A total failure

A total failure

That’s what this “project” of mine had been till now: a total failure. I’ve started this year giving me the goal of spending a maximum of 1,000$ in the whole 2010… 5 months have passed and… i’ve spent nearly 6,000$. This time, last year, i had spent about 1,500$.

This is a total failure till now. And the Woman, the Goddess, the Mistress i have to “thank” for all this is her.. Sheena (or WildStorm for that matter). I’ve tried to escape, tried to block her on messenger, tried to do everything… but yet… each time i have some free (and private) time i find myself looking for her pictures, and always dream of her power…and get excited just by the idea of that…

I don’t know how i will find a way to stop my spending…and i probably won’t find a way… but i’ll keep trying… even if till now… i’ve been a total failure.

A way to reduce the temptation

A way to reduce the temptation

 Today i’ve fond, i hope, a way to reduce the temptation to go in videochat with WildStorm (or Sheena).

In fact i saw she has sort of a “fan club” where she puts lots and lots of photos and videos recorded during her live sessions.

I immediatly joined that fan club and i’m now trying to use those videos when i feel the total need to see her.

… could this be helpful? I don’t know, i’ll see what happens next time i see her logged on messenger…