OneGreatDiva was here

OneGreatDiva was here

I never expected this could happen…but it did. One Great Diva decided to come here on my blog, and posted a comment on one of the articles.

This makes me feel honoured…but also, in a way, even more at risk than before. Because if i ever had some doubts, now i am sure that She reads this blog, She knows about this and She probably uses all the info i put here against me.

Is that scary? Yes it is…but also exciting. So… each time i will write here… i will know that She could maybe be reading it later… i’m sure i will.. shake while writing from now on.

Did i really resist?

Did i really resist?

Looks like tonight i managed to resist Miss Olivia request to pay…but now i wander…was it me that resisted, or did She just let me, perhaps because She couldn’t be bothered to try harder? I don’t know…all i know is that She was dressed to kill (as you can see) and that i was really in some sort of hypnosis but… i managed to say “no”.

Am i really coming out of this? I doubt it… i think She just didn’t want to waste lots of time…or maybe She just wants to see how long it will take me to try to see Her again…and probably when i’ll do…she’ll strike. I don’t know…i keep having doubts, even when things goes right like tonight…i’m confused.

Looking for Financial Mistresses…

Looking for Financial Mistresses…

It doesn’t help to feel like being a slave of more than one Mistress, as i am… there are times…when… i’m the mood to serve…i’m ready to let them use their power on me but… no one of them is online.

Tonight is one of those nights…and all i can do is…dream about them.

Thinking about… real life

Thinking about… real life

tacchi01It doesn’t stop…that’s a fact. I am spending more than last year and surely i am not slowing down… perhaps…this is just what i want…and i should really stop fighting this… what’s the point in fighting who i am?

Actually… recently i find myself thinking more and more about… real life sessions… about a Mistress (well, i can say Her name… Miss Olivia) tempting me in a public place, using my fetishes to make me weak…and then.. using me to go shopping… maybe shop about shoes… and modeling them in front of me… yes.. i am thinking about this more and more… and i find it really exciting.

But i do know one thing: that’s something i can’t afford. A real life session is going to cost WAY more than a videochat…and i can’t, can’t, can’t really afford that…at the moment…

Back and confused

Back and confused

Yes tonight i came back online and ended up visiting a Mistress on videochat. Now i’m confused. I don’t even know what i’m writing about… all i know is that in the last 40 minutes i went from being happy, to sad, to angry to..confused as i am.

Spent a lot? no. Felt Her power? Yes.

But anyway…is it so difficult to understand that i’m not exclusive? I’m a slave that lives on emotions, because they are the reason i spend… and emotions can come from different Mistresses… is it that difficult to understand? Why someone would be mad about it? And why this should cause me problems?

I don’t know. I am just confused…only thing i know for sure is that danger excites me, especially if it’s a beautiful and intelligent danger.

That’s all for tonight… probably no one will understand what i wrote…but in the end…a blog is personal….and even this one is personal. I write about what i feel, about whom i feel… and no one should even dream of telling me what to write or should try to influence my life because of what i write here.