Why do i always find myself doing this “sitting duck” sort of game? I know everytime she contacts me, i can’t resist her… so when i see she’s online on messenger, i log in and stay there…not contacting her and telling myself “i’ll go in 20 minutes”. Inside myself i know the excitement i get to be “on the edge”…but i also know i NEED to avoid her, to protect myself against her… But yet… i play like a sitting…
I’ve always thought this of course… but sometimes things get to your mind stronger than other times. And tonight is one of those times. As everytime i have some privacy (meaning, my wife is asleep), i’m browsing through picture galleries of all these wonderful women online. Sometimes i see a shoe dangling for the top of a toe, other times just a pair of beautiful legs crossed while dressed in a formal way… but all these photos have one thing…
That’s what this “project” of mine had been till now: a total failure. I’ve started this year giving me the goal of spending a maximum of 1,000$ in the whole 2010… 5 months have passed and… i’ve spent nearly 6,000$. This time, last year, i had spent about 1,500$. This is a total failure till now. And the Woman, the Goddess, the Mistress i have to “thank” for all this is her.. Sheena (or WildStorm for that matter). I’ve tried…
Today i’ve fond, i hope, a way to reduce the temptation to go in videochat with WildStorm (or Sheena). In fact i saw she has sort of a “fan club” where she puts lots and lots of photos and videos recorded during her live sessions. I immediatly joined that fan club and i’m now trying to use those videos when i feel the total need to see her. … could this be helpful? I don’t know, i’ll see what happens next time…
I thought i was safe… i thought blocking her on Yahoo was enough… but it’s always like this… i block her on Yahoo and then, after a couple of months, i start feeling the NEED to feel her power on me… the NEED to see her contacting me and order me to come into her videochat. And that’s what happened a few days ago. I unblocked her…and she was online… i waited…i was shaking with the anticipation of what was…
It’s how it goes each time with her. I check her profile to look for new photos, i look at them… and then… one of them, each time, like… ORDERS me to go into her video. It’s impossible to resist to my Diva, it’s just impossible. She will drain your wallet as she’s draining mine… and you won’t be able to stop her. Because deep inside…that’s what we want.
I had to make a video of her… just to show everyone how powerful she is… even if, i have to say, there is no way you can understand her power unless you go and see her live. She’s mean, she’s smart, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy… and yes, she WILL rape your wallet…that’s what she did to me…and what she keeps doing… because i just can’t escape from her… i can’t… and maybe… i don’t.
It’s not over. It was for just a few days…then… one night i logged in…and saw HER online…the one it all started with…the one that i will probably never be able to forget or resist. My one and only Diva was there…online… i went into her videochat… and… it all started again. I didn’t post till now on this blog because i was too ashamed…but…what can i say… my fight is on again…although i totally failed my first goal. On…
I get this told me a lot recently. Usually from Goddesses. And i tend to agree to them. I mean, who would say “i want to stop” and then keep staying online, keep looking at photos, keep getting in touch with temptation? Well maybe the reason is that i am not really a moneyslave. I spent about 95% of the money last year on webcam: paying a per minute charge in order to be able to look at beautiful women,…
It’s getting difficult, everyday more difficult. My initial idea was to make myself known into the moneyslavery community, so that whenever i would log a failure here, i would have felt even worst and, maybe, learn for the next time. So i now find myself browsing Goddes twitter profiles, websites, blogs, youtube videos, facebook contacts.. to add them but…doing so… i also discover so many gorgeous Goddesses, so many women i could never ever resist to…and the worst thing is…