I never expected this could happen…but it did. One Great Diva decided to come here on my blog, and posted a comment on one of the articles. This makes me feel honoured…but also, in a way, even more at risk than before. Because if i ever had some doubts, now i am sure that She reads this blog, She knows about this and She probably uses all the info i put here against me. Is that scary? Yes it is…but also…
Looks like tonight i managed to resist Miss Olivia request to pay…but now i wander…was it me that resisted, or did She just let me, perhaps because She couldn’t be bothered to try harder? I don’t know…all i know is that She was dressed to kill (as you can see) and that i was really in some sort of hypnosis but… i managed to say “no”. Am i really coming out of this? I doubt it… i think She just…
It doesn’t help to feel like being a slave of more than one Mistress, as i am… there are times…when… i’m the mood to serve…i’m ready to let them use their power on me but… no one of them is online. Tonight is one of those nights…and all i can do is…dream about them.
It doesn’t stop…that’s a fact. I am spending more than last year and surely i am not slowing down… perhaps…this is just what i want…and i should really stop fighting this… what’s the point in fighting who i am? Actually… recently i find myself thinking more and more about… real life sessions… about a Mistress (well, i can say Her name… Miss Olivia) tempting me in a public place, using my fetishes to make me weak…and then.. using me to…
Yes tonight i came back online and ended up visiting a Mistress on videochat. Now i’m confused. I don’t even know what i’m writing about… all i know is that in the last 40 minutes i went from being happy, to sad, to angry to..confused as i am. Spent a lot? no. Felt Her power? Yes. But anyway…is it so difficult to understand that i’m not exclusive? I’m a slave that lives on emotions, because they are the reason i…
There we are… i knew this moment would have come sooner or later… i had a rough week, had been drained (literally) by OneGreatDiva and now… if i don’t take at least a week off from all this, i will have huge problems with my bank. So it’s time to switch off my messenger, stop visiting certain sites, stop updating this blog, stop visiting my (new) facebook account. I hope i’ll make it…if not…this could lead to serious problems…really serious.
Last night i’ve experienced for the first time how a voice can really be hypnotic. Went to see Miss Olivia…and this time she probably decided to show me how she is ALWAYS in charge and in control of the situation, how she could turn myself upside down in a matter of seconds. She started talking to me with a tonce of voice she never used before…and i swear i really felt like i was hypnotised… listening to her voice while…
Ok i admit. Till now i didn’t have one Mistress only, but more like a few favourite Mistresses (the three here on the right). But if i was in the “mood” and noone of them was around, i used to simply browse and look for some other potential Mistress, just to fill my need to be a bit dominated. Tonight i am in the mood. But none of them is online and, most important, Miss Olivia is not online. Yes…
It probably all started when i met Miss Olivia. Among other things, she really can enter your brain and well… explore it ar her will. And that’s what she did and she keeps doing. But doing so…she’s making me think a lot, really a lot. Am i really a moneyslave? Or am i just attracted by something else? And if that’s the case…what’s this “something else”? Seduction power? Beauty? Or just a pair of feet in stockings or pantyhose? How…
One year has passed since i’ve started this blog. As the name suggests, i was and still am (i think) trying to run away from my financial slavery addiction: too much money spent, too much risk to spend even more. I had to stop. But after a year of failure, as i ended up spending even more, i think i met the one Mistress that really made me think, for the first time, if this decision to run away is…