Beyond Control: My Surrender to Goddess Ishtar in Portugal
As you may have noticed, I didn’t post on this blog as much as I used to recently. The reason is quite simple: I have been trying to stay away from findom, to be a good husband, a hard worker and an everyday, normal man…and a bit less of a paypig.
But my efforts at normality began to unravel when I happened to have a casual chat from Goddess Ishtar in which she mentioned she was going to attend a conference in Portugal. By coincidence, I was planning to attend a conference in Portugal around the same time, and through that coincidence, any plans at keeping to the straight and narrow were doomed.
Resistance is futile
At first, I thought I could resist the temptation to be used by her in real time, but I was naïve. She started to mindfuck and tease me, using my desire and weaknesses as weapons to undermine my will. She sent me photos from our first real time meeting, attacking me mentally and using the memories, feelings, sensations to flood my brain with dopamine to make me mindlessly horny.
Very soon I had returned to that unique form of madness that only Goddess Ishtar can inspire in the male psyche. I had carefully and dutifully saved some money for a summer vacation with my wife, but I knew I would lose it all the moment I was trapped in her golden web. I tried to shake some sense and sobriety into my brain to balance the dark and irrational desires that were welling up from the deepest recesses of my brain. But all too soon those dark waves overwhelmed any rationality I had left, and I fell into that familiar self-destructive spiral once more. I knew there would be serious consequences this time – my marriage was very much at stake this time. How could I explain everything away this time, my distraction, inattention, the disappearance of the money we had saved for our vacation? I knew that I was walking into the abyss, but my desire was so intense, at that I didn’t care, all I wanted was to feel that thrill of being a findom junkie, out of control, feeling the visceral power of Goddess Ishtar.
The adventure begins
My brain filled with these dark shadows; I arrived in beautiful Lisbon. The meeting with Goddess Ishtar was scheduled for that evening and she had said she would text me the address and exact time the afternoon of my arrival. I was restless – the danger, the money, and the excitement were all making my nerves electric, my body was trembling in a heady mix of wild anticipation and arousal.
After what seemed like an eternity, I received a text message from Goddess Ishtar:
“Meet me at the Discoteca Jézebel, Praça José Teodoro Dos Santos, (Casino Estoril), Estoril tonight at 23:00, slave”
I didn’t expect the meeting would have been in a different city, but 20 Kms and some heavy traffic wouldn’t have stopped me of course. I took an Uber and, after about 40 minutes and 50 Euros spent, I arrived to Casino Estoril and entered the Discoteca Jézebel.
Meeting Goddess Ishtar
On my way to the bar, my fear and excitement mounted to almost painful levels. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and the closer I came to the bar, the more it felt like I had electric electricity running through my veins instead of blood.
When I arrived, I sent a text message to Goddess Ishtar:
”I am here, Goddess.”
After a few minutes that looked like a lifetime, she finally replied:
“Find me in the VIP area, slave”
Although the bar was crowded with people, Goddess Ishtar stood out from the crowd, sitting at a table in the VIP area wearing a tight black dress, shiny black pantyhose and expensive ankle boots. She looked even hotter than I remembered, a vision of desire. And, although I have been serving her for nearly 14 years, and met Her once already, I started shaking. Couldn’t even breath well. The vision of her was almost unbearable for my heart, I was excited and scared beyond any possible imagination. But I wouldn’t have stop here of course, so I slowly approached her.
The huge drain
“Make yourself comfortable and have a drink, slave” she commanded and pointed to the sofa.
I was trembling and my heart was racing as if I had just run a marathon. My need to be used and financially abused was welling up from the deepest depths of my soul. I craved that feeling of the complete loss of control, to be under her control, to feel her power.
My gaze was fixed on her, but even so, my whole body trembled as if surprised, as she shifted her hips gracefully and stretched her legs and laid her feet on my lap. I could feel my cock twitch in response.
“Give me your best foot rub, slave” she ordered.
With shaking hands, I carefully and worshipfully slipped her boots from her perfect feet, taking the greatest care not to scratch them and began to massage her feet feeling the warmth of her skin through the silky pantyhose. After a few moments of this bliss, I heard her say, without drama, “Hand me your wallet, slave.” Taking great care to continue massaging her feet with one hand, I reached the other into my jacket and gave her my wallet. With a practiced motion, Goddess Ishtar took the wallet, flipped it open and extracted all the cash it contained, leaving it limp and completely empty.
She had taken 5,250 EU, the 5K EU I had brought for her tribute as she had stipulated, and an additional 250 EU I had brought for my everyday expenses. Then she said the words I had been dreading.
“I know you have more money in your savings account, slave.”
“Please, Goddess, mercy” I murmured, hopelessly. Not even really meaning what I said. Deep down I was craving for more and more. I wanted to be drain and ruined completely.
“You knew that 5K wouldn’t satisfy me, slave, didn’t you? That tribute is necessary, but not sufficient You have known that at some level from the moment you agreed to this meeting, you know me, you know what I want. I want your complete and unreserved compliance, complete submission. The cost of this meeting is not about mere money, a measly 5K EU. The true cost is your willingness to risk complete ruination to demonstrate your devotion to your Goddess. I want you to prove that you are willing to put at risk everything you have – family, life, career in order to be my slave.”
“Fundamentally, I want to destroy you and take everything you have. Hand me your cell phone, slave. Now have another drink.”
Her confidence, beauty and power made me completely powerless and helpless.
I was punch-drunk, confused, aroused, I couldn’t think clearly, I couldn’t control my actions and desires, I was just her mindfuck puppet dangling from her elegant fingers on strings of silk.
Quickly finding my banking app on the phone, she tapped it open as I looked on, paralyzed by the web she had wrapped me in. Then, like a silver bell, I heard her next demand, “Open the app, slave, now!”
My fingers trembling, I entered the necessary data and handed the phone back to her. In less than a minute I had laid bare all my finances and given her complete access. Thirty seconds to do the most stupid thing I had done in my entire life.
Mindlessly I stared at my hands, still rubbing her divine feet and calves, and heard, as if in the distance, the tone that signaled a transaction had been completed successfully. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the Goddess grin in triumph.
Goddess Ishtar stood up abruptly and slipped her feet back into her boots: “I will be back in 5 minutes” she said and left, striding across the bar like the divine creature she is, every eye turning to follow her progress as she cut her way through the crowd.
The unexpected gift
The afternoon of anticipation, the electric effect of seeing her in the bar, the sensation of massaging her calves and feet, the dark excitement of the extreme submission she had demanded of me had all combined to make me extremely horny: I desperately needed a release. I wanted nothing more than to escape to my hotel room and stroke my cock until I exploded with mindless orgasm, but I knew that if the Goddess returned and found me gone, my punishment would be physically and mentally excruciating. So, I stayed where I was, my cock dripping my brain a blur until Goddess Ishtar returned in 10 minutes that had felt like an eternity.
As she strode toward me, I noticed with a thrill that now her legs were bare and she was holding, bunched in one fist the pair of black silk pantyhose that had previously been stretched across her beautiful legs, feet, and heavenly ass. With a powerful and victorious expression on her face, she leaned forward, held the wisp of silk across my mouth. The pantyhose were fragrant with her scent and still held some of the warmth of her body. Through a haze of desire, I heard the whisper she dripped into my ear, “When you get back to your hotel room, slave, I want you to turn on the video recorder in your laptop, wrap these pantyhose around your face, and jerk off slowly as you breath in the scent of my body and remember your empty wallet and empty bank account. Edge for at least 10 minutes, holding back as long as you can. Only after 10 minutes or longer, you are allowed to cum. Only after you send me the video are you allowed to check your accounts. Now leave, I have no use for you anymore.”
The release and the humiliation
As I stumbled back to my hotel, my desire grew to painful proportions. My need for release became the center of my awareness, a bright blinding drive that blotted all else and was soon more important more than anything else.
Stumbling into the lobby of my hotel, rushed to my room looking like a madman, almost breaking down the door in my desperation to get in. Ripping off my clothes and tossing them in a heap in the corner, I opened my laptop, turned on the video recorder application, kneeled at the bed like the supplicant I was and wrapped the perfumed pantyhose of the Goddess around my face like a holy shroud. I put the empty wallet and my cellphone on the floor between my knees, spat into my palm grabbed my throbbing cock and began to masturbate, furiously at first, but then more cautiously, mindful of her 10-minute minimum. As the wave of orgasm rose in my balls, fragments of desire and memory filled my brain, the sight and sensation of her sexy feet, the scent of her perfume, the heat of body, the assured power that emanated from her and she bent me to her will.
After 11 minutes and 12 seconds, I could no longer hold back. My cum exploded from my cock, spattering the computer, carpet, wallet, and cellphone with my thick semen of need that the Goddess and drawn from me. Before cleaning the mess, I had made, I saved the video, made some screenshots of key moments, and sent them to Goddess Ishtar as I had been instructed. As I clicked the button to send the video, my cock was still dripping cum onto the carpet, a hot sticky reminder of my shame and need and a sharp feeling of regret began to fill me.
The shocking discovery
What have I just done? What have I done to myself? With a feeling of existential dread and after several false starts, I logged into my banking app to see what damage I had to contend with and explain to my family. The pit in my stomach grew bigger and bigger as it became clear that the Goddess and emptied all my personal accounts as well as the joint accounts I shared with my wife. In total, in addition to the money she had already taken for her own, an additional 14,472.17 EU was gone. She had takem them all. My account showed a rounded, never seen before, zero.
My brain began to race, thinking how I could escape this damning situation. I sank deeper and deeper into a miasma of anxiety, regret and fear the room seeming to close in on me from all sides. After some time, not sure how long, the clear and unique tone of a message on my phone from the Goddess cut through the depression like a shaft of light in a dungeon. My brain filled with mindless desire as I reached for the phone.
I saw her message
“Well done, slave.”
And immediately my depression and anxiety lifted, replaced by pride at having please the Goddess. She had also edited the materials I had sent and added some photos of her own, including a few taken from my mobile while she was empting my bank account. I looked at those photos over and over, as I could not believe my eyes.
But even if the consequences have been shockingly harsh on my and my bank account, Looking through these visual examples of my depravity and submission, I could feel the rising wave of desire flooding my body, and the electric need to be used and abused by her even harder. I have never been drained that hard before, and yet I felt like it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted to keep serving and spoiling her as I have been doing for about 14 years now.
Final thoughts
As I sit down writing this post, I can’t stop thinking and trying to figure out how was all this even possible. How does she do it? How does she exercise such control over all men? How has she amassed such power to destroy and wreak havoc on one man after another? How is it possible that, after a long time of submission and servitude, after all the hard draining, all I can think of is how I can save some money to serve her again? At this stage, I still don’t know how I am going to hide all this from my wife, but I don’t really care. All I want is to keep making Goddess Ishtar happy, to keep looking at her beauty, to keep feeling lost in those hypnotic eyes, to keep feeling the adrenaline pump into my veins each time she demands for more.
Keep reading…
If you liked this post, keep reading. Inspired by this magical and unique night, I created a short Anime Video which you can find links of on the following post:
And, of course, there is a big question that remained to be answered… how did I cover up all the money I’ve spent? Well, here you go:
