CamContacts
I’m a loser: $254.80 spent tonight
Sucker, stupid, loser. That’s what i am. I’ve promised to myself to go to bed at 1:00 am tonight… instead i didn’t, and 5 minutes later WildStorm (Sheena) contacted me on messenger:
WildStorm (Sheena): hi
me: hello Goddess
WildStorm (Sheena): come in my room
me: i shouldn’t…i want to resist the temptation.
WildStorm (Sheena): you should..but i have my nylons on
WildStorm (Sheena): and i want you in, dog
WildStorm (Sheena): someone needs to lick my heels
me: i want to be strong…but God…. the thought of you…and my wife is not even home…i feel…defenseless…
WildStorm (Sheena): see, u know where to go now
me: yes my Goddess, i do
And that was it. I went into her room and remained there for nearly one hour and a half, staring at her beautiful teasing. I ended up spending $254.80 (logged into the Status page) and i completely exploded when she asked me to pay her $500 via PayPal, which i didn’t. Because i went offline after literally exploding.
I’m a stupid. I’m weak. I am not going to be strong enough to do what i’ve promised myself. This had been a really bad, bad, bad night for me.
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Do i love my wife?
This is a question i sometimes ask myself… the answer is not that difficult to give: yes, i totally love my wife.
Having submissive fantasies doesn’t mean that all you want from your life is to be submissive, or at least not in my case. Being totally addicted, hypnotized by a woman that knows exactly my fetishes and that uses them against my will is a big fantasy of mine, always was.. but it’s a fantasy. Something that excites me a lot, but not something i would experience in every minute of my life.
My wife is the woman i love, the only one i could ever love. She’s beautiful (really beautiful), smart, sexy, sweet, caring and… how do i put this… “weak”. It’s a bad word, but my English maybe doesn’t really help me here a lot. She’s not strong at all, i act with her almost as a mother sometimes, hugging her when she needs it, giving her suggestions.. being always there for her, always.
I’m with her the opposite i am in my fantasies. But in my fantasies, the woman that uses me is not the woman i love. Often she’s a boss in an office, a teacher in a classroom i go to, or just a woman trying to sell me something. The woman i dream of is strong, intelligent, sexy, classy..but not someone i could love.
My wife is my life, my Goddess is my erotic fantasy.
That’s exactly why my weakness is stronger when i am excited and alone… because those are the moments where i usually go (well, “went” as it won’t happen again) here, where it all started… on my favourite cam site.
Today i brought my wife to the airport: she’ll be away for 3 weeks (bureaucracy stuff). These 3 weeks will be the most difficult for me, as i will really be like a sitting duck for any Mistress that will decide to use my fetishes against me… the least i can do is to, at least, don’t go and look for them… won’t be easy though…
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One short video with WildStorm (Sheena)
Tonight i saw she was online (on messenger)…but i didn’t have the guts to make myself visible to her… i was too scared… to scared to read the message i knew i wouldn’t have been able to reply no to: “Come into my video. Now.”
She’s just irresistible. Her legs are endless…her eyes are pure ice…she’s a Goddess, in every sense… i made a short video from one of my latest videochats with her… have a look…
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When a photo “scream” my name
I have to admit, although i am trying to quit from being a Moneyslave, i still have the “need” to check out the newest photos “my” Mistresses put online. Today i came back from a short vacation so, as soon as i remained alone, i went to check their galleries…
And sometimes, when i look at some photos, i get the impression that those photos had been taken thinking about me, screaming my name, calling me to action… giving me the order to go and serve the Mistress. It’s like the photos OneGreatDiva posted a few days ago (and that i post here)… those are my favourite poses… and i DO remember we spoke together many times of how much i found irresistible those golden sandals, especially if with nylons on… it’s really like she took them thinking about me…
I am starting to think that i won’t be able to resist long… the temptation to let these beautiful women use my fetishes to ruin me is so strong…
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My first post
It’s late at night…the usual time when my “slave needs” raise up..when my wife is asleep and the temptation to do something exciting is high. And this is where it will all begin: this blog.
Tonight i won’t go on CamContacts, i won’t visit any of the gorgeous Mistresses there. I will just write this article and go to bed. Lots of things i still need to do here in this blog… i want to make a page with how much i spent last year, for everyone to see…and i want to keep track of how many times i’ll just go and visit those Mistresses, with the usual idea “i will just have a look at her latest pics”, and the amount of money i will spend this year…that i hope will be less, much much less than last year… i would say a maximum of 500$ for the entire year… well..better if i think a bit more of this goal, can’t be sure i will make it that far.
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