So wife went to sleep. I’ve been working till a few minutes ago, and mind you is about 1.30 am… so i’m here, sitting in front of my computer, trying to relax.
And that’s when it happens: i’m alone, it’s night, i’m online. It’s like my fingers move by themselves..typing the address of the site i mostly visit my Goddesses from… but She’s not online. The one i have been thinking about since 2 days isn’t online… and i wish She was. Yes, i wish She would use her power on me tonight…but She’s not online.
And so…it’s one of those nights when i say…
I’ll wait 10 minutes, then go to bed is She doesn’t show up
And 10 minutes become 20….and then 30… and in the end…i will just feel useless and went to bed very late. It has happened before…it will happen tonight…unless…i just shut down my laptop and go to sleep.
Recently i’ve been fascinated by blackmail, the excitement of being in huge danger, of letting a gorgeous woman “steal” personal data from me in order to keep me into her hands…but… is this the real reason i’m getting excited by this?
What if…all i crave is cheating my wife with another woman? What if all this fetish of mine (moneyslavery or blackmailing) is just a reason to “feel” the excitement of actually cheat my wife for real?
I have never done that, i have never cheated her in real life…only online… and now… the idea of actually be, physically, with another woman…totally attracts me even more than before.
Maybe, these days, it’s not anymore about financial domination, it’s not about blackmailing…it’s just about…cheating my wife.
A while ago i wrote a post about how a slave should approach a Goddess online and i still believe that’s very accurate and, at least, a good starting point for any “slave wannabe”. But..what about all thos “Goddesses wannabe“? Would it help them knowing the things they need to avoid, in order to keep people with them? I don’t know…but i feel like putting down this list so…here are the 5 major turn offs for slaves (at least for one like me)
1. Bad English
I am sorry, but if you just can’t type in proper english… don’t even bother to pretend You are a Goddess. You are not…or at least, if you are, try to be one with guys from your own country…because as of me, your bad english will just be a huge turn off.
— Your Money Slave (@YourMoneySlave) March 21, 2014
2. Brain smaller than mine
You can’t control a slave’s mind just because you are wearing some boots and stockings, or because of you are wearing a fake cock. You need to have something inside that brain of yours. You need to show me that you are way more wise and intelligent than me. You need to show me that i can also admire you for your culture, not just for your beauty.
3. No listening
Lots of Goddesses (even successfull ones) always say “i don’t care about what a slave wants, i am the Goddess”. I can understand this in part…but if the slave tells you, in example, that “pantyhose make me weak”…why would you ignore that? If he tells you “i am excited by blackmailing”, why would you ignore that? If you don’t listen to what i say, and don’t even try to do things to put me in trouble…well…i won’t be in trouble: i’ll be looking for another Goddess as soon as possible.
4. Cheap setup
We are in 2014: an HD webcam doesn’t cost a fortune, and putting up some nice furniture and lighting in a room shouldn’t be a big issue for someone that wants her slaves to pay 12$ a minute to see her. If your setup looks cheap, you look cheap to me… and i surely won’t feel weak for long in front of you.
5. Broken nylons
Ok…this is just for the nylon fetishist that i am But it can relate to the point above: if you break your nylons…put a new pair on. Are you so cheap that you can’t even afford a new pair of nylons? Really?
So that’s it… that’s what i felt like writing tonight… hope i didn’t offend anyone by writing it…but if i did…well…perhaps it’s because you are just a… “Goddess wannabe”
It might sound weird…but these days i can see that spring is actually helping me in spending less online. Amazing isn’t it? And the reason is so stupid… that i’m actually even embarassed to speak about it… Spring makes me weaker….physically weaker i mean..and that means less chances to stay up till late, less chances to stay in front of a computer all alone…less chances to spoil these amazing Goddesses.
Sounds silly, doesn’t it? But again…when you have a problem (or let’s say, a difficult to handle part of what you are) that goes on and on…every little help can make some difference… and surely this is making a difference in the money i’m spending.
But then again… i find myself even frustrated because i can’t spend enough time as i wish online…enough time to let their amazing beauty drive me completely crazy and helpless… enough time to let those feet in nylons, those high heel shoes, those gorgeous sexy smiles…just drive me completely crazy and make me like a zombie…
Sometimes… all i want is to stop thinking…and let the power of these Goddesses reduce me more or less like a zombie, unable to do anything else but submit and surrender… that’s what being a slave is like: you have a normal life, you have brain too…but then… you look at one of these pictures and something in your brain just… snaps.
And you stop thinking.
I have to admit, i don’t consider myself an “easy to catch” slave, surely not an “easy to keep”. I have many reasons why i could suddenly stop feeling weak in front of a Goddess and today i am facing a new one that’s… making me think a lot about my “relationship” with a specific Goddess.
I won’t say her name, of course, but rest assured that She is someone i have NEVER spoke about in this blog, because I’ve actually met her just a week ago or so. She is absolutely gorgeous: brunette, long hair, slim, perfect legs and feet… and also a brain to fall for… in a few words, I’ve spent a lot with her and, even worst, i have been telling her lots of personal data…as I’ve never done before. So yes… i am totally into her…at the moment.
Last night we spent a long time together…even on Skype (and BOY…Skype makes it all so more REAL)… and it was magnificent. She took even more money and info from me… so I’m more and more weak for her…but then…today… i did what i always like to do (maybe it’s wrong)…i went searching for info about her online.
And I’ve found out she has a kid. Now…should this change anything on the way i feel for her? And if it does, why? She is still gorgeous, powerful, sexy, smart and everything else…but… but she has a family. She’s not “free“….. damn it i don’t even know how to explain this… but thinking about her as a mother, as a sweet mother… makes me feel WAY less weak thinking about her…is this wrong of me?
Don’t take me wrong, i am NOT saying she shouldn’t do what she does because she’s a mother, that’s absolutely NOT what i mean here….it’s how this makes me feel actually that is the question. Is the fact that all this make me feel less weak in front of her… it makes me see her more… human perhaps? Less dangerous? Maybe that’s it… the fact that she has a kid makes me think she is less dangerous… less “available”…less “free” of using the data i gave her…
I am sure i won’t be able to stop seeing her immediately…because when i say she is GORGEOUS, i really mean it…one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen…but i know…sooner or later…I’ll stop feeling weak in front of her…. and at that time…the next question will arise me… should i tell her the reason? Perhaps if i do…i could even still be close to her, even if not as a slave? She’s still a gorgeous woman… and hell…would still be great to make her teasing me from time to time…
…actually am i even making sense here?
Obvious thing to say… if i’m tired i don’t go online…therefore i don’t spend. Wow…what a revelation…right? Well i know, it’s totally obvious…but it’s a fact.
I think i have been once or twice online in about 10 days now…and that’s because i’m working a lot, and i’m more and more tired at night.
I should be happy about this right? I should…right? Well…wrong. I’m not. I can’t appreciate this enough…it seems…something is missing… and i surely know what that is.
It’s the excitement i get while i’m totally putting myself in a Goddess hands, it’s the feeling i get…that fear… yes, all that.
Looks like i’m addicted to this feeling…i’m…addicted to be enchanted by a woman’s seduction…to be manipulated…to be under her control.