It doesn’t stop…that’s a fact. I am spending more than last year and surely i am not slowing down… perhaps…this is just what i want…and i should really stop fighting this… what’s the point in fighting who i am? Actually… recently i find myself thinking more and more about… real life sessions… about a Mistress (well, i can say Her name… Miss Olivia) tempting me in a public place, using my fetishes to make me weak…and then.. using me to…
Today i’ve fond, i hope, a way to reduce the temptation to go in videochat with WildStorm (or Sheena). In fact i saw she has sort of a “fan club” where she puts lots and lots of photos and videos recorded during her live sessions. I immediatly joined that fan club and i’m now trying to use those videos when i feel the total need to see her. … could this be helpful? I don’t know, i’ll see what happens next time…
It’s getting difficult, everyday more difficult. My initial idea was to make myself known into the moneyslavery community, so that whenever i would log a failure here, i would have felt even worst and, maybe, learn for the next time. So i now find myself browsing Goddes twitter profiles, websites, blogs, youtube videos, facebook contacts.. to add them but…doing so… i also discover so many gorgeous Goddesses, so many women i could never ever resist to…and the worst thing is…
This is a question i sometimes ask myself… the answer is not that difficult to give: yes, i totally love my wife. Having submissive fantasies doesn’t mean that all you want from your life is to be submissive, or at least not in my case. Being totally addicted, hypnotized by a woman that knows exactly my fetishes and that uses them against my will is a big fantasy of mine, always was.. but it’s a fantasy. Something that excites me…
I have to admit, although i am trying to quit from being a Moneyslave, i still have the “need” to check out the newest photos “my” Mistresses put online. Today i came back from a short vacation so, as soon as i remained alone, i went to check their galleries… And sometimes, when i look at some photos, i get the impression that those photos had been taken thinking about me, screaming my name, calling me to action… giving me…