Obvious thing to say… if i’m tired i don’t go online…therefore i don’t spend. Wow…what a revelation…right? Well i know, it’s totally obvious…but it’s a fact.

I think i have been once or twice online in about 10 days now…and that’s because i’m working a lot, and i’m more and more tired at night.

I should be happy about this right? I should…right? Well…wrong. I’m not. I can’t appreciate this enough…it seems…something is missing… and i surely know what that is.

It’s the excitement i get while i’m totally putting myself in a Goddess hands, it’s the feeling i get…that fear… yes, all that.

Looks like i’m addicted to this feeling…i’m…addicted to be enchanted by a woman’s seduction…to be manipulated…to be under her control.