That’s what this “project” of mine had been till now: a total failure. I’ve started this year giving me the goal of spending a maximum of 1,000$ in the whole 2010… 5 months have passed and… i’ve spent nearly 6,000$. This time, last year, i had spent about 1,500$. This is a total failure till now. And the Woman, the Goddess, the Mistress i have to “thank” for all this is her.. Sheena (or WildStorm for that matter). I’ve tried…
Today i’ve fond, i hope, a way to reduce the temptation to go in videochat with WildStorm (or Sheena). In fact i saw she has sort of a “fan club” where she puts lots and lots of photos and videos recorded during her live sessions. I immediatly joined that fan club and i’m now trying to use those videos when i feel the total need to see her. … could this be helpful? I don’t know, i’ll see what happens next time…
I thought i was safe… i thought blocking her on Yahoo was enough… but it’s always like this… i block her on Yahoo and then, after a couple of months, i start feeling the NEED to feel her power on me… the NEED to see her contacting me and order me to come into her videochat. And that’s what happened a few days ago. I unblocked her…and she was online… i waited…i was shaking with the anticipation of what was…
I get this told me a lot recently. Usually from Goddesses. And i tend to agree to them. I mean, who would say “i want to stop” and then keep staying online, keep looking at photos, keep getting in touch with temptation? Well maybe the reason is that i am not really a moneyslave. I spent about 95% of the money last year on webcam: paying a per minute charge in order to be able to look at beautiful women,…
It’s getting difficult, everyday more difficult. My initial idea was to make myself known into the moneyslavery community, so that whenever i would log a failure here, i would have felt even worst and, maybe, learn for the next time. So i now find myself browsing Goddes twitter profiles, websites, blogs, youtube videos, facebook contacts.. to add them but…doing so… i also discover so many gorgeous Goddesses, so many women i could never ever resist to…and the worst thing is…
Sucker, stupid, loser. That’s what i am. I’ve promised to myself to go to bed at 1:00 am tonight… instead i didn’t, and 5 minutes later WildStorm (Sheena) contacted me on messenger: WildStorm (Sheena): hi me: hello Goddess WildStorm (Sheena): come in my room me: i shouldn’t…i want to resist the temptation. WildStorm (Sheena): you should..but i have my nylons on WildStorm (Sheena): and i want you in, dog WildStorm (Sheena): someone needs to lick my heels me: i want…
This is a question i sometimes ask myself… the answer is not that difficult to give: yes, i totally love my wife. Having submissive fantasies doesn’t mean that all you want from your life is to be submissive, or at least not in my case. Being totally addicted, hypnotized by a woman that knows exactly my fetishes and that uses them against my will is a big fantasy of mine, always was.. but it’s a fantasy. Something that excites me…
I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew she was the only one i should rely on, the only one i should care of, the only one that could help me. I didn’t sleep at all last night, thinking about her. So this morning… i phoned my wife. I’ve asked her to go online while we were on the phone. Explained her how it all started, during last May. I told her how much i’ve spent last year, what i was…
It’s late at night…the usual time when my “slave needs” raise up..when my wife is asleep and the temptation to do something exciting is high. And this is where it will all begin: this blog. Tonight i won’t go on CamContacts, i won’t visit any of the gorgeous Mistresses there. I will just write this article and go to bed. Lots of things i still need to do here in this blog… i want to make a page with how…
Tonight i’m working a bit more on this… i’ve updated my Twitter and, more important, added the Status page on this blog. That will help me to keep an updated situation of all this mess…