Trying to resist her is starting to look pointless… once again i couldn’t take it anymore… i had to go back at her feet, i had to feel her power on me. Almost a month ago i decided to block her on my messenger… but slowly, day after day, i felt the need to feel her power again…so i unblocked her… and she won again. She said “tonight i want you in my video”. Nothing else. I answered “no i…
Why do i always find myself doing this “sitting duck” sort of game? I know everytime she contacts me, i can’t resist her… so when i see she’s online on messenger, i log in and stay there…not contacting her and telling myself “i’ll go in 20 minutes”. Inside myself i know the excitement i get to be “on the edge”…but i also know i NEED to avoid her, to protect myself against her… But yet… i play like a sitting…
I’ve always thought this of course… but sometimes things get to your mind stronger than other times. And tonight is one of those times. As everytime i have some privacy (meaning, my wife is asleep), i’m browsing through picture galleries of all these wonderful women online. Sometimes i see a shoe dangling for the top of a toe, other times just a pair of beautiful legs crossed while dressed in a formal way… but all these photos have one thing…
That’s what this “project” of mine had been till now: a total failure. I’ve started this year giving me the goal of spending a maximum of 1,000$ in the whole 2010… 5 months have passed and… i’ve spent nearly 6,000$. This time, last year, i had spent about 1,500$. This is a total failure till now. And the Woman, the Goddess, the Mistress i have to “thank” for all this is her.. Sheena (or WildStorm for that matter). I’ve tried…
Today i’ve fond, i hope, a way to reduce the temptation to go in videochat with WildStorm (or Sheena). In fact i saw she has sort of a “fan club” where she puts lots and lots of photos and videos recorded during her live sessions. I immediatly joined that fan club and i’m now trying to use those videos when i feel the total need to see her. … could this be helpful? I don’t know, i’ll see what happens next time…
I thought i was safe… i thought blocking her on Yahoo was enough… but it’s always like this… i block her on Yahoo and then, after a couple of months, i start feeling the NEED to feel her power on me… the NEED to see her contacting me and order me to come into her videochat. And that’s what happened a few days ago. I unblocked her…and she was online… i waited…i was shaking with the anticipation of what was…
I get this told me a lot recently. Usually from Goddesses. And i tend to agree to them. I mean, who would say “i want to stop” and then keep staying online, keep looking at photos, keep getting in touch with temptation? Well maybe the reason is that i am not really a moneyslave. I spent about 95% of the money last year on webcam: paying a per minute charge in order to be able to look at beautiful women,…
It’s getting difficult, everyday more difficult. My initial idea was to make myself known into the moneyslavery community, so that whenever i would log a failure here, i would have felt even worst and, maybe, learn for the next time. So i now find myself browsing Goddes twitter profiles, websites, blogs, youtube videos, facebook contacts.. to add them but…doing so… i also discover so many gorgeous Goddesses, so many women i could never ever resist to…and the worst thing is…
Sucker, stupid, loser. That’s what i am. I’ve promised to myself to go to bed at 1:00 am tonight… instead i didn’t, and 5 minutes later WildStorm (Sheena) contacted me on messenger: WildStorm (Sheena): hi me: hello Goddess WildStorm (Sheena): come in my room me: i shouldn’t…i want to resist the temptation. WildStorm (Sheena): you should..but i have my nylons on WildStorm (Sheena): and i want you in, dog WildStorm (Sheena): someone needs to lick my heels me: i want…
This is a question i sometimes ask myself… the answer is not that difficult to give: yes, i totally love my wife. Having submissive fantasies doesn’t mean that all you want from your life is to be submissive, or at least not in my case. Being totally addicted, hypnotized by a woman that knows exactly my fetishes and that uses them against my will is a big fantasy of mine, always was.. but it’s a fantasy. Something that excites me…