weakness
Perhaps i should just give up
August has been a hard month for me. I’ve been trying to stay away from Sheena, thinking in this way to actually..well…save money. But that didn’t actually happen.
I kept going to other mistresses on the sites i well know (the three listed here on the right) and well.. i ended up spending quite a lot (for my standards) and… not being satisfied at all.
Sheena has something… something that really gets me. I don’t know if it’s the way she just doesn’t care a lot of me, the way she looks, the way she often ignores me while moving in ways that kill my brain… or just the fact that she knows what to show me in order to completely fuck up my brain.
I don’t know. All i know is that last night she contacted me on messenger and, after a while, i agreed to go and see her saying “i won’t stay long”.
That didn’t happen. I spend almost an hour there. She had a fantastic new pair of black stockings and an equally amazing pair of high heel black shoes that she could remove easily… she teased me for the whole hour but never talked to me.. i just couldn’t manage to go away… check the video below and tell me if you would have been able to…
She’s the one, i probably better start understanding this and avoid going looking for the same power somewhere else.
I should probably give up and understand she owns me, not matter what i do to avoid this.
Trying to stop, once again
Sheena raped my wallet once again a few nights ago. I watched her in cam for a while, spending quite a lot and i almost sent her a tribute… i was just about to do it…when i managed to switch the computer off and, literally, run away.
I really think i need to stop now, can’t go on like this. I have a family to think about and i’m really spending too much money. So last night, when i saw her online, i was brave enough to contact her and face her. This is the short dialogue we had:
Me: The other night i run away. It’s getting out of control. You won’t see me for a while.
Shenna: Are you sure? No.
Me:Yes i am
Shenna: I won’t let you.
Me:I’ll stick to my decision this time
Shenna: I don’t agree
Me: It doesn’t matter really, goodbye
Shenna: You just make me laugh!
That was it. I just logged off and went to bed. Now… i’ll see if she will really try to stop me or if she won’t bother to. And if she attempts to use my weakness once again…well… i just hope i’ll be strong enough to resist…
Here’s how she raped my wallet
I don’t consider myself strong when i have a beautiful woman in front of me, otherwise i would not be here trying to escape from my money slaver problem.
But i’m quite sure NO MAN would have resisted Sheena after what she did in cam last night.
She teased me for a while, with her long legs in black pantyhose, her sharp high heels, her feet, her toes. Then, all of sudden, she told me:
“I want you to put your money here”
And she did what you’ll see at the end of this video.
Would you be able to resist that? I didn’t. I just let her rape my wallet. Once again.
She won…once again
Trying to resist her is starting to look pointless… once again i couldn’t take it anymore… i had to go back at her feet, i had to feel her power on me.
Almost a month ago i decided to block her on my messenger… but slowly, day after day, i felt the need to feel her power again…so i unblocked her… and she won again. She said “tonight i want you in my video”. Nothing else. I answered “no i won’t” but she didn’t even look at my answer, she knows her power…
And in fact, last night i waited 2 hours to see her coming online…and when she did i waited till she ordered me to go into her room… and that’s what i did.
This time she raped my wallet by 120$… but i know it’s not enough… because i will never win against her…she has me on her fingertips… because she knows how to drive me crazy in her videochat…as she did last night…
The sitting duck
Why do i always find myself doing this “sitting duck” sort of game?
I know everytime she contacts me, i can’t resist her… so when i see she’s online on messenger, i log in and stay there…not contacting her and telling myself “i’ll go in 20 minutes”.
Inside myself i know the excitement i get to be “on the edge”…but i also know i NEED to avoid her, to protect myself against her…
But yet… i play like a sitting duck…all the time…
22 days since she last raped my wallet
It has been 22 days since the last time she raped my wallet… this is the way my fight should go…but how long will i be able to resist? I’m already feeling the desire to be under her power, the “need” to be drained by her teasing, the “need” to admire her incredible beauty and power, the “need” to see her using my foot fetish to control my brain…
A way to reduce the temptation?
Today i’ve fond, i hope, a way to reduce the temptation to go in videochat with WildStorm (or Sheena).
In fact i saw she has sort of a “fan club” where she puts lots and lots of photos and videos recorded during her live sessions.
I immediatly joined that fan club and i’m now trying to use those videos when i feel the total need to see her.
… could this be helpful? I don’t know, i’ll see what happens next time i see her logged on messenger…
And once again…she drained me
I thought i was safe… i thought blocking her on Yahoo was enough… but it’s always like this… i block her on Yahoo and then, after a couple of months, i start feeling the NEED to feel her power on me… the NEED to see her contacting me and order me to come into her videochat.
And that’s what happened a few days ago. I unblocked her…and she was online… i waited…i was shaking with the anticipation of what was coming.. then… she messaged me… just “hi” she said… and that’s all i needed… i replied in a polite way as i always do…and all she said was “in 5 minutes, come into my video”.
And i did as she ordered me. Because if i don’t block her…i’m unable to resist her.
When a photo ASKS for money
It’s how it goes each time with her. I check her profile to look for new photos, i look at them… and then… one of them, each time, like… ORDERS me to go into her video.
It’s impossible to resist to my Diva, it’s just impossible. She will drain your wallet as she’s draining mine… and you won’t be able to stop her. Because deep inside…that’s what we want.
Do i love my wife?
This is a question i sometimes ask myself… the answer is not that difficult to give: yes, i totally love my wife.
Having submissive fantasies doesn’t mean that all you want from your life is to be submissive, or at least not in my case. Being totally addicted, hypnotized by a woman that knows exactly my fetishes and that uses them against my will is a big fantasy of mine, always was.. but it’s a fantasy. Something that excites me a lot, but not something i would experience in every minute of my life.
My wife is the woman i love, the only one i could ever love. She’s beautiful (really beautiful), smart, sexy, sweet, caring and… how do i put this… “weak”. It’s a bad word, but my English maybe doesn’t really help me here a lot. She’s not strong at all, i act with her almost as a mother sometimes, hugging her when she needs it, giving her suggestions.. being always there for her, always.
I’m with her the opposite i am in my fantasies. But in my fantasies, the woman that uses me is not the woman i love. Often she’s a boss in an office, a teacher in a classroom i go to, or just a woman trying to sell me something. The woman i dream of is strong, intelligent, sexy, classy..but not someone i could love.
My wife is my life, my Goddess is my erotic fantasy.
That’s exactly why my weakness is stronger when i am excited and alone… because those are the moments where i usually go (well, “went” as it won’t happen again) here, where it all started… on my favourite cam site.
Today i brought my wife to the airport: she’ll be away for 3 weeks (bureaucracy stuff). These 3 weeks will be the most difficult for me, as i will really be like a sitting duck for any Mistress that will decide to use my fetishes against me… the least i can do is to, at least, don’t go and look for them… won’t be easy though…
The Most Dangerou$
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