This is getting way out of control. Last month i’ve spent more than i’ve ever spent in a month on financial domination… more than 2.000$.
I thought i could fight, i thought i could resist…but it seems pointless…perhaps i should gave up alltogether and just embrace my real nature of Money Slave.
Or perhaps i should try real time domination, meeting up with one of my Goddesses…perhaps that would give me the definitive answer: am i a real moneyslave, or am i just a useless videochat wanker?
In any case….this is not looking good at all… i shouldn’t spend that much…i keep saying it…but yet…i keep spending more and more…
So far this has been my worst year ever. Tonight i’ve updated the status page (here) and… in 2012 i so far spent about 5 thousand dollars in financial domination… never happened before.
So this fetish is getting stronger, even if i keep track of my steps in this blog. What does this mean? Recently i started considering the fact that i might even be “evil” somehow…but most probably…the truth is that…financial domination is part of myself, and i’ll never be able to exist without it…
And while i write these lines… One Great Diva and Miss Olivia are both online…this will never end.
It’s not over. It was for just a few days…then… one night i logged in…and saw HER online…the one it all started with…the one that i will probably never be able to forget or resist. My one and only Diva was there…online… i went into her videochat… and… it all started again.
I didn’t post till now on this blog because i was too ashamed…but…what can i say… my fight is on again…although i totally failed my first goal. On the “Current Status” page i wrote down, at the beginning of this, that i wanted to spend a total of 1000$ this year…well go and check it… i’m 4 times over it… and i don’t seem to be able to stop… until One Great Diva will show up online…
I will keep posting from now on…
Sucker, stupid, loser. That’s what i am. I’ve promised to myself to go to bed at 1:00 am tonight… instead i didn’t, and 5 minutes later WildStorm (Sheena) contacted me on messenger:
WildStorm (Sheena): hi
me: hello Goddess
WildStorm (Sheena): come in my room
me: i shouldn’t…i want to resist the temptation.
WildStorm (Sheena): you should..but i have my nylons on
WildStorm (Sheena): and i want you in, dog
WildStorm (Sheena): someone needs to lick my heels
me: i want to be strong…but God…. the thought of you…and my wife is not even home…i feel…defenseless…
WildStorm (Sheena): see, u know where to go now
me: yes my Goddess, i do
And that was it. I went into her room and remained there for nearly one hour and a half, staring at her beautiful teasing. I ended up spending $254.80 (logged into the Status page) and i completely exploded when she asked me to pay her $500 via PayPal, which i didn’t. Because i went offline after literally exploding.
I’m a stupid. I’m weak. I am not going to be strong enough to do what i’ve promised myself. This had been a really bad, bad, bad night for me.
Tonight i’m working a bit more on this… i’ve updated my Twitter and, more important, added the Status page on this blog. That will help me to keep an updated situation of all this mess…