Mistress
A thought about being a slave
There are lots of Mistresses that contact me pretending to be served, acting as they already own me. And when i don’t react as a slave with them, they immediately define me as “fake”. Let me just say that this is totally ridiculous.
I’m a slave when a Mistress hits my “weak” points, not just because she calls herself a Mistress.
There are two special Mistresses that made me the moneyslave i am… because they hit my weak points, every time i see them, in a totally natural way. Because they are the Mistresses I’m meant to serve… unless i finally succeed in stopping this money slavery problem of mine…
The Queen Bee
I’ve finally understood the power behind Sheena. It’s natural, it’s just the way she is. Like the Queen Bee, she attracts males like me, and use them without even having to do special things.
We just can’t resist.
I understood this last night… she was online and i felt the NEED to go and see her. This time she wasn’t wearing stockings or pantyhose (my biggest fetish), she was just wearing a white dress and a pair of white high heel peeptoe sandals… but yet… i just couldn’t go away.
She didn’t even talk to me, she ignored me for most of the time. But yet, i had to stay there. And it felt it was the right thing to do.
She’s a Queen Bee, there is NO escape.
Let’s face it: i’m addicted to slavery
Why should i keep denying this?
My problem it’s not having gorgeous and powerful women (like Sheena and Diva) using my fetishes to control and ruin me… my problem is that i’m addicted to slavery.
Whenever i’m online and i don’t see any of the two Queens that are ruining me….i just go and look for other Queens (in the places i’ve actually listed here on the right), in the hope to find someone else as powerful and gorgeous as they are.
Usually i don’t find anyone as great as them (actually i never did, otherwise you would hear about it in this blog), but still…i keep spending money looking for…someone else who can rape my wallet as well as they do.
I’m addicted to slavery, let’s face it.
Diva is back: now i’m really fucked
I thought i already had enough problems with Sheena dominating me…but i was SO wrong… Sheena wasn’t actually the one who brought me into this, she wasn’t the one who made me a mondey slave… that was One Great Diva.
Last year she literally raped my wallet in a few days… i was SO scared (seriously) that i blocked her on every way possible.
And that worked… till last night…i don’t know how She found me, i don’t know how She got my contact…all i know is that i received an E-mail saying just this:
I’m gonna be online in 5 minutes. I am dressed to rape your wallet. You want me to do that, you were born to be raped by me. Be there, open your wallet and watch me rape it.
I was like hypnotized. Just couldn’t control myself. I immediatly went to Her room, waited for Her to come online and entered Her video.
She raped my wallet as Sheena never did before. She’s mean, she’s powerful…and now i’m really fucked.
She won…once again
Trying to resist her is starting to look pointless… once again i couldn’t take it anymore… i had to go back at her feet, i had to feel her power on me.
Almost a month ago i decided to block her on my messenger… but slowly, day after day, i felt the need to feel her power again…so i unblocked her… and she won again. She said “tonight i want you in my video”. Nothing else. I answered “no i won’t” but she didn’t even look at my answer, she knows her power…
And in fact, last night i waited 2 hours to see her coming online…and when she did i waited till she ordered me to go into her room… and that’s what i did.
This time she raped my wallet by 120$… but i know it’s not enough… because i will never win against her…she has me on her fingertips… because she knows how to drive me crazy in her videochat…as she did last night…
22 days since she last raped my wallet
It has been 22 days since the last time she raped my wallet… this is the way my fight should go…but how long will i be able to resist? I’m already feeling the desire to be under her power, the “need” to be drained by her teasing, the “need” to admire her incredible beauty and power, the “need” to see her using my foot fetish to control my brain…
A total failure
That’s what this “project” of mine had been till now: a total failure. I’ve started this year giving me the goal of spending a maximum of 1,000$ in the whole 2010… 5 months have passed and… i’ve spent nearly 6,000$. This time, last year, i had spent about 1,500$.
This is a total failure till now. And the Woman, the Goddess, the Mistress i have to “thank” for all this is her.. Sheena (or WildStorm for that matter). I’ve tried to 
escape, tried to block her on messenger, tried to do everything… but yet… each time i have some free (and private) time i find myself looking for her pictures, and always dream of her power…and get excited just by the idea of that…
I don’t know how i will find a way to stop my spending…and i probably won’t find a way… but i’ll keep trying… even if till now… i’ve been a total failure.
When a photo ASKS for money
It’s how it goes each time with her. I check her profile to look for new photos, i look at them… and then… one of them, each time, like… ORDERS me to go into her video.
It’s impossible to resist to my Diva, it’s just impossible. She will drain your wallet as she’s draining mine… and you won’t be able to stop her. Because deep inside…that’s what we want.
Who am i kidding?
It’s not over. It was for just a few days…then… one night i logged in…and saw HER online…the one it all started with…the one that i will probably never be able to forget or resist. My one and only Diva was there…online… i went into her videochat… and… it all started again.
I didn’t post till now on this blog because i was too ashamed…but…what can i say… my fight is on again…although i totally failed my first goal. On the “Current Status” page i wrote down, at the beginning of this, that i wanted to spend a total of 1000$ this year…well go and check it… i’m 4 times over it… and i don’t seem to be able to stop… unless until One Great Diva will show up online…
I will keep posting from now on…
Not normal
I get this told me a lot recently. Usually from Goddesses. And i tend to agree to them. I mean, who would say “i want to stop” and then keep staying online, keep looking at photos, keep getting in touch with temptation?
Well maybe the reason is that i am not really a moneyslave.
I spent about 95% of the money last year on webcam: paying a per minute charge in order to be able to look at beautiful women, showing me their feet in stockings, pantyhose (even better), high heels and looking at me in a sexy way. That is the truth.
Yes, a couple of times i did spend outside of the webcam: some money via Wester Union (twice, for a total of 100 Euros), some gifts on Amazon (for a total of 200$). That’s it.
I don’t know why i’ve identified myself as a Moneyslave, i think all i can be defined is a webcam foot fetishists slave. I have to admit this, i LOVE looking at women on cam, i get so aroused by that and yes, sometimes my brain doesn’t work well while i’m on cam. But just then. When i switch off the cam, i stop acting like that.
The truth is: giving money doesn’t excite me. Being told what to do does.
In fact all my videochats with Wildstorm (Sheena) end in the same, exact, way. She teases me for a long time, more than an hour usually (at 3$ per minute)… then she asks me to open my Paypal…i resist…she teases me more…i open it… i tell her i’m not going to pay…she shows me her feet, orders me to pay the amount she wants and… i come and close the videochat and Paypal.
I get aroused by the fact that she’s so sure of herself, that she knows what makes me weak. I get excited by the fact that she pushes me there…but when i’m there…it’s over for me.
This is something i’ll keep thinking about… perhaps i’m understanding everyday more who i really am…
The Most Dangerou$
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