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The biggest frustration

The biggest frustration

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This won’t be a long post, but I want to put it here to see if others ever felt the same frustration when what I’m about to describe happened. To me, this is by far the biggest frustration as a slave, one of those nights where all you can do is hit your head on the wall.

Imagine this: you haven’t had a chance to have a session with that special Goddess for a long time. The reasons behind it are not important, they can be money, lack of privacy, lack of free time, or whatever. What counts is that you haven’t seen her for a long time, and you are craving to serve Her again.

The chance

Then, one morning, she posts something on Twitter: she says that she will be online that night, and the time she says she will be there perfectly matches your free time. You know you will be online at that time, you know you will have your chance.

You dream about that moment the whole day: at home, in your car, in the office. All you can think of is what is going to happen at night. You will finally be able to serve her again, you will finally be able to let yourself go and be her slave. The moment you have been dreaming of for months.

The frustration

The night comes. You log in. You load her profile and she is offline. You stay there and refresh the page countless times. You even check your internet connection, fearing something could go wrong. Minutes pass. An hour. Two. You have been waiting for two hours, and you look at the clock and realize the worse is happening: she is not coming online. Your chance is wasted. You don’t know when you will have another one, but it’s not going to be tonight. 

That’s the biggest frustration.

When you need your “fix”

When you need your “fix”

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Let’s face it: we, slaves, keep spending money on Goddesses because we need it, we crave it, we want it. Some call this a disease (a word that I hate) or, perhaps better said, an addiction. Maybe we can stay away for a while (usually just a few days), but then we always end up needing a session, needing to send a tribute, needing our “fix”.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, an addiction is “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity“. That kinda describes well what we are all going through…

And it even better fits when we look for the word addicted: “physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance”. Now, of course, we are not talking about a substance here, but for sure we keep doing this because it brings us pleasure, it gives meaning to our lives, and it makes us feel better.

So that’s why I think that a session (or a tribute) can actually be our “fix” for those moments when we start feeling down, even nostalgic about the last great session we had. We have all been through that: a few days passed since that fantastic session we had, and we start feeling in a bad mood, with a bit of sadness too. It’s like the world doesn’t smile at us anymore, it’s like nothing can make us feel better. That’s precisely when we need that medicine, the “fix” that can make us feel good and happy again with our lives. And a session with the right Goddess can greatly serve this purpose: She knows what we need, She knows what will make us feel better.

So there we are, in the end, we have one reason more to thank and appreciate what our Goddesses do: they really offer a social service in a way, for guys with this magnificent, unique, overwhelming illness that’s called Financial Domination.

Do you need your fix right now? Head over to the who’s live page, I can guarantee that ANY of the Goddesses listed there will take good care of your needs 😉

The PayPig Chronicles – Episode 1: “Too bad she started talking”

The PayPig Chronicles – Episode 1: “Too bad she started talking”

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Introduction

I had my first financial domination session online back in 2009 and, during all this time, I have been enjoying (or not) a TON of sessions (more than 1.500 when I wrote about it on my 10 years anniversary, back in 2019): good and bad, awesome and horrible, expensive and cheap.
In this series of posts, I will describe some of those sessions. Each time I will talk about a different one and, most of the time, I won’t tell you the name of the model involved. Why? Because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings: I want to be able to describe freely what happened, with no “filters” whatsoever. It will be an interesting journey, trust me…

Episode 1 – Too bad she started talking

I have been watching her on PayPig.cam for quite a while in her free videos, fascinated by her look and style. She is the classic blonde bombshell: huge boobs (not sure they are natural, don’t know and don’t care), big lips in which I’m sure she invested some money, blonde long curly hair, always perfectly dressed and, always perfect makeup.

Clearly, she works in one of those big-end studios, which take care of everything for Her. To be honest, this doesn’t usually bother me that much as long as she is naturally dominant and knows what she is doing, I don’t really care much where she learned that from.

Another thing that caught my attention, is that I had seen her a few times wearing expensive pantyhose. Women wearing pantyhose always have a “plus” on my weaknesses, and the way she was dressed a couple of times made me start fantasizing. I had noticed she never used her voice in free videochat, and I thought it was fine. Better don’t use your voice than show off bad English, right?

One night, when I saw She was wearing pantyhose, I decided to move forward and contact Her. Her answer was right on spot, she looked confident and dominant, the few first answers were those I would have expected from someone who knows about Findom, domination and, pantyhose fetish. Nothing too original of course, but all perfect to build up my excitement. 

So we started the session, and She was exactly what I thought: a bomb. Damn sexy, elegant, dominant. Perfect moves, perfect teasing, perfect outfit. Nothing was wrong in the session, all was going super great and I was feeling like She might have been one I would have been addicted to for a while.

Then she decided to start talking.

The effect her voice and her English language had on me was more or less the same effect a pin has on a fully blown balloon. If everything on her look was right on spot, everything about her voice was painful, to say the least.

A super bad English (which is ALWAYS a huge turnoff for me), combined with a tone of voice as sexy as the one of a goose angry at you because you are passing by her house. 

To be honest, I don’t know how it is even possible to write in somehow correct English and have the worst English EVER when talking. Does your brain disconnect when you open your mouth? Do your fingers follow different directions than your lips? And before you say it, it wasn’t one of the classic situations where someone else is typing instead of her (which happens a lot in those studios), I can spot that from a hundred meters. Her English was BAD, the tone of her voice was IRRITATING. What could I do?

Telling her to stop talking looked way too offensive, and the least I want to do is be nasty to a Woman. So I had just two more options: end the session and be left with blue-balls, or keep going and focus more on her look than her voice. 

I opted for the second since she was really HOT and she was doing a great job at teasing me. 

And, to be honest, I’m quite proud of it all ended: I managed to have a quite satisfying session and went to bed happy, with empty balls and…well… a quite empty wallet too. Which, for a PayPig, is always a sign of a good session. 

Did I visit her again? You bet I did, she is way too hot not to. But for sure she never will be one of those I feel addicted to or one of those I feel like losing control with during the session: even just the thought of her voice will always be a “wake up call” for my brain. You know… like “Hey, wtf are you doing man? Stop acting weak and vulnerable: wank and stop this session, remember that she sounds like a goose!“

Every PayPig’s biggest problem: the rush

Every PayPig’s biggest problem: the rush

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One of the things that always upset me more about my Financial Domination “life” is the amount of money that I end up wasting: lately, I think I identified where the main problem is, but before getting into that, let me explain what I really mean about wasting money in Financial Domination.

Here’s what wasting money on Financial Domination really means

First of all: if I thought that Financial Domination is just a waste of money, I would have stopped years ago. That is NOT what I think. Financial Domination is part of who I am, of my sexuality, and spending money on this makes me feel sexually satisfied. BUT. Not all money spent on Financial Domination is spent wisely. 

I had countless bad sessions, I’ve sent countless tributes to goddesses I end up spoiling just 2 or 3 times in 12 years, countless sessions that left me just angry with myself for days after they happened. 

Wasting money for me means paying for a session that ends up being totally unsatisfying. It means finishing the session and, for many days following it, keep thinking “damn If only I had spent that money with one of the best Goddesses out there…“. That is precisely the whole point. My wasted money is the one spent for a session I really don’t enjoy, especially if, rationally, I could have easily spotted it was going to be a bad session…but I decided to do it anyway. And the main upsetting thing is the thought that that money could have gone to a way more worth Goddess, if only…

The biggest problem: the rush

Picture this. It’s late at night, you are home alone, and you feel the urge to have a session. You start browsing the internet looking for one of the best Goddesses you know, hoping one of them will be online to drain you as good as you feel you need. But no one of them is around. No one. 

The rush of having a session is still there (or, better said, you are still excited as f**k), so you start looking around camsites or Twitter, searching for some Goddesses you never served before that, judging from what you can quickly see, could still give you what you want. 

That’s it. This is what will most probably make you waste money. 

No good decision ever arrives from being in a rush. Even more, if you are in a rush AND excited. If you are running from one site to another, in a desperate attempt to find a great Goddess, most of the time you will end up settling down with a girl that “more or less” can have potential…and she will not. Believe me. You WILL waste your money.

CLICK HERE AND SEE THE BEST GODDESSES ONLINE RIGHT NOW

The solution: use your brain (the one inside your head)

I know very well how we all feel in these moments, and which brain we are actually using (hint: not the one inside your head). We could easily solve the problem and don’t waste money, but we fail because we just can’t think straight. Again, we are not using the brain inside our heads. 

What would the solution be? Easy: when that kind of situation arrives, get off those sites and just wank! Wank on your own, cum, and forget about that feeling. Then, when you are NOT excited or in a rush, browse the internet looking for new “potential” Goddesses. Follow them, see what they post, what they do, how they do things. In time you will get a pretty good feeling of those that could potentially be a good “fit” for you, and if you are lucky enough one of them will be online the next time you are in this situation.

It’s true that, in the end, we are all just a bunch of wankers. But what we are looking for is more specific than others and, often, more difficult to find. We usually need a connection with the Goddess, we need Her to behave, talk and act exactly as we dream her to do. There are many great Goddesses out there, but finding them takes time and dedication. It’s never a good idea to jump into a session with someone you’ve never seen before. 

Stop the rush, calm down (yeah, wank to do that), relax and use that brain. You will have other chances with the Goddesses you crave for, no one ever died for not having a financial domination session. Just calm the f**k down in those moments, and don’t waste money.

The joy after a bad session

The joy after a bad session

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Although there are only a few Goddesses I really feel a slave of, sometimes it happens that I end up having sessions with “random” Goddesses found online. The reason is quite simple: sometimes I’m horny and no one of those I usually spoil is available….that’s when it happens.
And, as in everything, when you go fishing you never know if you are going to get a good or a bad fish. And trust me, when it comes to Goddesses, bad surprises are just around the corner.
You know how it is… a Goddess who might look great in pictures but then, during the session, reveals herself as just pretending to be part of the financial domination world or a Goddess who simply has a terrible cam quality…the reasons why a session can go wrong and be totally unsatisfying are endless. Shit happens, they say.

And it’s precisely after those sessions that you end up enjoying, even more, the very next session, the one you have with a Goddess you know, with a Goddess that knows you and your weak spots. Everything works flawlessly, she touches the right spot, makes the right moves, says the right things…and yes, drain your wallet pretty hard. In a few words: just a perfect, regular, financial domination session.
Boy that feels good! After you had that bad session, after you kicked yourself in the butt for not having saved that money, the right one comes to the rescue, showing you once again what it really means to be a Goddess with a capital “G”, showing you the meaning of being her slave…bringing you happiness after the dark moment of a bad session.

So, in a way, having a bad session every now and then can make you enjoy even more the really good ones… what do you think?

Group draining sessions: Not for me

Group draining sessions: Not for me

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One of the reasons why it’s probably so difficult to understand the Financial Domination fetish for someone who isn’t into it (well, this is valid for any fetish I’m afraid), it’s because there is not just one single way to enjoy it. And not every slave likes it in the same way.

I’ve been a moneyslave for over 10 years and, especially since I’ve opened this blog, I’ve been in touch with many slaves: sometimes it’s nice to exchange experiences, opinions, or even comfort each other during those many crises every moneyslave goes through from time to time.

One of the things that I get asked a lot (A LOT) is to join a group draining session. Unless you live on another planet or started yesterday in Financial Domination, you sure know what that is.

A few slaves have a session with the same Goddess, all at the same time. They spoil her, they let her use them, humiliate them…one in front of the other one. Very rarely slaves can see each other, but they sure can see how every one of them reacts to the Goddess’s presence and orders. 

Well, I’m sorry but this is not for me. Not at all. I like to live my financial domination in a more direct relationship with the Goddess: I want to be the only one she’s giving orders at that moment, I want to be the only target of her power. With this, I’m not saying the Goddess needs to give me any sort of special attention, in the end, she is the one in charge…but…let’s say I don’t like to “share” her with others when I serve her. 

Is this selfish? Is this a limit I have? Am I missing some big part of the Financial Domination world? Perhaps guys, perhaps. But, as I said before, not every slave is the same…

FeetGoddesss: The one that stays inside my brain

FeetGoddesss: The one that stays inside my brain

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FeetGoddesss: The one that stays inside my brain

Through the years I’ve been serving quite a lot of Goddesses: some just once, some for a few times, others (the best ones) I simply never stopped serving. But not a lot of them have the ability to speak directly to my soul as FeetGoddesss does.
I know, it may sound like an exaggeration, something maybe that I’ve built in my mind to make this fantasy more exciting…but there is more than that. I can easily say we connect on some sort of special level, and not just speaking about exciting situations.

CLICK HERE TO SERVE HER RIGHT NOW

But when it comes to that, when it comes to serving Her, it’s always the same.
She just KNOWS when I’m truly ready to serve Her, She just KNOWS when demanding me to serve Her will be a success. She doesn’t always chase me (obviously…She has LOTS of slaves), but each and every time She does, I get on my knees and do whatever She asks me to.

The things She says, the way She moves, the way She is always dressed: everything is just perfect to enslave me. Everything. And that’s why She’s always inside my brain, even when I don’t feel weak at all. I find myself thinking about Her at the most strange times, like while I’m at work in a meeting, or at home with my family. She’s there, She sits there showing up every now and then…and when She decides it’s time to server Her…it happens.

And the other night it was no exception. Although I promised myself to reduce the amount of money I spend (and you can see here that I am somehow succeeding in that), I couldn’t say no when She started moving in a way only She can do, while writing me things I could not ignore.

The result? A classic. I ended up spending a fortune online and, to thank Her for the time She spent with me, I then bought a few items from Her wishlist on Amazon.

Because when a voice inside your brain orders you to do something, you just do it.