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When you disappoint Your Goddess

When you disappoint Your Goddess

crushing-disappointment

I doubt there is anything worst in the life of a slave than disappointing your Goddess. And i’m not talking about the fact of being lack of money and unable to spoil Her (all the Goddesses i always served are wise enough to understand this), but when you do (or don’t do) something she was expecting from you. When you misbehave. When you do something that, in a way, kinda hurts her or even make her believe you have been disrespectful.

And that’s what i did. I disappointed Her.

My punishment? The worst ever.

“You have time to think of what you did, i’ll let you know when you can crawl back to spoil me”

No chance to recover. Nothing to be done to make Her forgive me. She decided i have to stay away from Her for a while, and She will decide whenever i can come back to Her.

What a bad period for me…. first i lost my site, then i had to stop spending…now this. They say shit happens in life…but damn…this is way too much.

Four years ago on this day…

Four years ago on this day…

Time surely goes fast. It seems yesterday that i’ve started this blog…instead it is four years now. And exactly four years ago i was writing my very first post.

It’s late at night…the usual time when my “slave needs” raise up..when my wife is asleep and the temptation to do something exciting is high. And this is where it will all begin: this blog.

Same old story. This will happen more and more after that day…and, as usual, i was also hoping to don’t do anything wrong…

“i won’t visit any of the gorgeous Mistresses there. I will just write this article and go to bed”

Yeah right…i bet… four years passed, and i still have to succeed on that. And then, at the end of the article, the sentence that really shows me how big my failure had been so far:

“the amount of money i will spend this year…that i hope will be less, much much less than last year… i would say a maximum of 500$ for the entire year

I will end up that month spending 200$…and that year spending a total of 9.000$. The rest is history…and in 2013 alone i’ve spent 22.000$ as shown here.

If there is any resolution i think i can try to keep…is the one i made to my angel (remember her?) just last night: i will try to post more this year, i will force myself to do so. Let’s say…a minimum of three articles a month. That’s a goal i can achieve…i hope.

Here’s why staying away from Financial Domination is worst than embracing it

Here’s why staying away from Financial Domination is worst than embracing it

This is a lesson i’m learning through time and huge mistakes: if i stay away from financial domination, i’m always ending up spending more when i get back to it (because i always do).

Same thing happened last night when, after about a month of low expenses, i saw EyesCandy was online and i couldn’t stop myself from visiting her again.

Again, She was absolutely stunning. After a while that we were just talking (well i was trying to, mesmerized by her beauty), she showed me her brand new Gucci shoes and told me “do you think they would look good with nylons?”

That was the beginning of my failure in reducing expenses. I ended up spending about 600$ and… i came like i never did in about a month.

I can’t stay away from what excites me so much, i just can’t stay away from it.

While writing this article, i went to update the page where i keep the status of this financial domination problem…and well it’s true. I was slowing down (a bit) and, till last night, i had spent just 200$ in the whole april…

Trapped into Financial Domination

Trapped into Financial Domination

Article originally posted on June 7th, 2011

onegreatdiva-fin-dom

It’s getting worst. It’s nearly one year and a half since i started this blog, and after all this time i can clearly see that i’m getting deeper into Financial Domination. I’m trapped.

As of today, i spent more than any other of the previous years…and that’s not what i promised myself when i started this Finacial Domination blog. I was going to stop, i was going to resist, i was going to spend less.

Nothing of all that happened. My fault, of course, but also because of the power of theFinancial Domme that was here before i started this blog and that’s here today as well: One Great Diva.

I won’t shut this blog off, and i will keep posting about my journey into Financial Domination and money slavery…but my hope to stop is getting weaker and weaker…

Financial Domination: she brought me back

Financial Domination: she brought me back

Article originally posted on April 18th, 2011

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It seems it was silly for me to even think Financial Domination could have been over… She brought me back into it with a…”virtual slap” i could say.

One Great Diva caught me online the other night… at first i was acting strong, well i was actually sure to be strong enough..but her attitude, her beauty, her power…made me fall all over again into Financial Domination.

She got 300$ in half an hour…and more via tributes… it’s like nothing has changed since she first made me a money slave, more than one year ago. I was so sure to be over it, to be able to control it…and then…here i am… made a money slave again by the one that brought me into Financial Domination at first: One Great Diva.

Miss Olivia: should i really run away?

Miss Olivia: should i really run away?

One year has passed since i’ve started this blog. As the name suggests, i was and still am (i think) trying to run away from my financial slavery addiction: too much money spent, too much risk to spend even more. I had to stop.

But after a year of failure, as i ended up spending even more, i think i met the one Mistress that really made me think, for the first time, if this decision to run away is what i really want.

Could it be that i just want to…take a break? Let this bad financial moment in my life pass, and then start again as before? Why should i deny what i am? Why should i deny what really excites me?

I met Miss Olivia online a few days ago, one of those nights when my need to be dominated is higher than my desire to run away from that. Of course she immediatly shocked my for her bauty, but what really made me think a lot in the following days is how that videochat went.

We had a long, interesting, facinating, surprising conversation. It was like she could read my mind, my emotions, my thoughts as no one before. At one point she asked me “Are you sure you want to run away?”. I didn’t answer to that question, i didn’t have an answer. At least not a complete honest answer. And i still don’t.

Her intelligence is beyond anything you can imagine to meet, especially online in a videochat. You can feel how her mind is superior than yours, and one thing that you notice immediatly is that it’s not easy to be accepted as her slave.

She doesn’t take anyone. First she wants to understand the way you are, what you are really looking for, what are your desires. And after that…she is the one deciding if you are worth her attention or not. In my case… all we did was talk, even in a nice way…but at the end of that chat… i just couldn’t stop thinking about her. More than any other Mistress i met before. She is into my brain, and there is no way i can let her go now. And i believe this is because she KNOWS i could be really and deeply submitted only by words, only by a beautiful woman that would use words in a perfect way.

So i’m here today asking myself: how can i run away from Miss Oliva? Is that what i really want? Will i be able to stay away from her for long?

It has been a long year, mostly spent (literally) with the three Mistresses that brought me into all this mess (OneGreatDiva and MsClassy)…but now that a new year starts…it seems that another one, Miss Olivia, will put a stop on all my intentions to run away.

I am confused tonight…especially because i am writing these things and i don’t feel, inside my brain, the usual voice saying “this is wrong, you need to run away”. The only voice i hear into my brain is Miss Olivia’s, and she’s saying:

Are you sure you want to run away from me?

She said i’m a cashcow

She said i’m a cashcow

How could i deny that? She raped my wallet once again. And this time her weapon was… a new webcam. It may seems nothing to you…but try to look at the video below and compare it with the previous videos i made. It does make a lot of difference. Because now She shines in all her beauty, in all her power.

And what could i think about the outfit she was wearing? A shiny shirt almost exploding, a short skirt, stockings, and new high heel shiny shoes…

No, there is NO WAY i will ever escape. I’m a cashcow, as she said. And she surely knows very well how to milk me.

And by the way…with this videochat i made what i didn’t want to make at the beginning of this blog: i spent more than what i’ve spent last year. Yes, as you can see in the Current Status page, till now i spent more than 2009…. in january i promised myself to spend just one thousand dollars…now i’m at ten thousand dollars.

I’m screwed…but i won’t stop…she is too much for me…i can’t stop visiting her…can’t.

Total failure

Total failure

Ok, it’s not going well at all. I’ve started this blog hoping that i would have been able to win this fight, hoping that i would have been able to resist the temptation…

Well it seems i can’t. I’ve already spent 8 thousand dollars so far this year, and it doesn’t look that i’m going to stop.

The thing is… these women know how to make me weak. They know it well and they do it also because…they probably know better than me that this is what i really want.

It’s exciting to let their beauty and teasing take advantage of me… it’s exciting and dangerous.

Perhaps i should just give up

Perhaps i should just give up

August has been a hard month for me. I’ve been trying to stay away from Her, thinking in this way to actually..well…save money. But that didn’t actually happen.

I kept going to other mistresses on the sites i well know (the three listed here on the right) and well.. i ended up spending quite a lot (for my standards) and… not being satisfied at all.

She has something… something that really gets me. I don’t know if it’s the way she just doesn’t care a lot of me, the way she looks, the way she often ignores me while moving in ways that kill my brain… or just the fact that she knows what to show me in order to completely fuck up my brain.

I don’t know. All i know is that last night she contacted me on messenger and, after a while, i agreed to go and see her saying “i won’t stay long”.

That didn’t happen. I spend almost an hour there. She had a fantastic new pair of black stockings and an equally amazing pair of high heel black shoes that she could remove easily… she teased me for the whole hour but never talked to me.. i just couldn’t manage to go away… check the video below and tell me if you would have been able to…

She’s the one, i probably better start understanding this and avoid going looking for the same power somewhere else.

I should probably give up and understand  she owns me, no matter what i do to avoid this.

A total failure

A total failure

That’s what this “project” of mine had been till now: a total failure. I’ve started this year giving me the goal of spending a maximum of 1,000$ in the whole 2010… 5 months have passed and… i’ve spent nearly 6,000$. This time, last year, i had spent about 1,500$.

This is a total failure till now. And the Woman, the Goddess, the Mistress i have to “thank” for all this is her.. Sheena (or WildStorm for that matter). I’ve tried to escape, tried to block her on messenger, tried to do everything… but yet… each time i have some free (and private) time i find myself looking for her pictures, and always dream of her power…and get excited just by the idea of that…

I don’t know how i will find a way to stop my spending…and i probably won’t find a way… but i’ll keep trying… even if till now… i’ve been a total failure.